I am the fifth sibling out of eight with 3 brothers and 4 sisters. My Mom has lived in a Senior Apartments living since 2009. The past couple of years my mother can not care for herself and needs 24/7 care. The sisters take night shifts and weekends to continue to have my mother living in her own home. A care giver has been hired during the week days to care for my mother. The year of July 2019 thru August of this year 2020 my sister was the full-time caregiver. She has made it impossible for other sisters to care for our mother since she thinks she is in control of my mothers medical and care needs and wants to control us with telling us what we can do and not do and also what we do wrong! I'm am very stressed over the fact that my sister seems to make everything negative on how we take care of our mother. Please tell me what can I do, to get her off our backs. We are here to take care of our mother and not be ordered around by her!
If she is doing a good job, let her.
I did read your profile. Your mom has many, many health issues.
I urge you to follow Alvadear’s advice and contact a mediator so all of you can settle this and properly care for your mom.
Best wishes to you and your family.
Does the sister currently giving care have POA? If so she pretty much calls the shots and you are there to "help" her. Ask what she needs and make schedules to do this.
I would be the last to step into a swirl of 8 siblings at war over how to care for one Mom. Good luck working it out. Moreover, I side with the Sister who is "taking over" at this point. Someone needs to be in charge here. You cannot get the input of every single sibling in this case on ever single step. THAT would be my definition of chaos.
Wishing you the best of luck going forward. And how lovely that there is all this help! Something we almost never see.