Should I hire caregivers for mom, or should I look into being compensated?
As of last month, I am my elderly mom's guardian and conservator. I am also not working and have not had a regular job for a long time. A little background: I was a stay-at-home mom of two children including a disabled son for over a decade. A few years ago I divorced, remarried and then my son went to live his father. After my son moved, I decided to start my own business, and spent over three years trying to make that work, but at the beginning of this year I decided to start looking for a full-time job, as my business wasn't going that well (partly due to my mom, see below) and my husband's income isn't quite enough. Coincidentally, my mom, 89 and living alone, started having a lot of problems - she's been having problems for years, but things really started to escalate - she's got early-mid(?) dementia (undiagnosed, but probably vascular dementia), atherosclerosis, unexplained falls and weakness that led to hospitalizations, etc. etc. Plus her inability to manage her finances, file her taxes, etc. made things even more troubling and she is stubbornly independent. Many stories that I won't go into here. However, after a long and arduous journey - we had to go to court - I was appointed her guardian, conservator, and successor trustee. Which was a relief but I realized it's only the beginning. So my main question is should I start looking for a job while also trying to help out my mom and hire caregivers etc. or should I look into being compensated for any aspect? I did not ask for any compensation as part of the guardianship petition. Yes my mom has the money, that is not the issue. The issue is doing the right thing. My family needs more income but I don't want to jeopardize the guardianship status with a conflict of interest. On the other hand my mom would prefer me to help her rather than having an agency (to help with meds/prescriptions, shopping, etc.) She does have someone else once a week but stubbornly refuses anyone else to help, and in fact I tried to have the helper come in twice a week and she refused (this was before I was appointed her guardian). I'm pretty sure my lawyer thinks I should just hire everything out. If I already had a steady job I would definitely do that, but it seems odd to hire out when I am willing and have the time and more importantly, my mom would prefer my help over the help of others. I am also concerned about the ability to hold a job and deal with things like taking my mom to the doctor, hospitalizations, etc. Thank you in advance for your feedback.
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