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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Someone recently suggested having an 'accidental' spill over father's pyjama trousers so that he definitely needs to take them off. A nurse also suggested doing as much as possible of the changing while he is lying down in bed, so that things just get pulled up etc when he finally stands. Perhaps you do a 'bed bath' type wipe around the bottom end at the same time, and forget about the shower. That method needs less co-operation from him and less risk of injury to you. Good luck - it seems a very common problem.
I'd consider that he may not be able to participate and do what you are asking. I think that sometimes the person may appear to be able to physically move their hand, arm, leg, etc., but, they are not able to use it in a functional way, which is due to their brain damage. So, it could be ability or it could be resistance to care, which is also quite common.
Have you looked at the videos on You tube, by Teepa Snow on dementia behavior and care? She has some helpful suggestions.
I might also look to see if changing how you are doing it would make a difference. Try different techniques. If you are doing it in the bathroom that is cold, try heating it. If you are doing it on the bed, can he be made to feel more secure on the bed? He may fear falling. Are other people present? Maybe, he needs privacy. Are you using wipes that may be cold? He may find it unpleasant. Could you make sure that he's calm first? Perhaps, play soothing music? And, if you ask him to do something, like move your leg and he doesn't, don't keep repeating it and get frustrated. Just do it for him and continue, so he doesn't feel defeated. Using positive and comforting words may make him feel less agitated.
I hope you get more suggestions. I only helped changing my LO's clothes.
I'm not sure if you mean that he is uncooperative with beginning the task (as in you indicate it's time to change and he refuses) or if you are having trouble with him completing the steps associated with the task because he can't remember in what order to do things.
If cooperation is the problem, try offering a small reward for compliance with the request. ("Hey let's go use the bathroom, and then we'll look through your magazine or get some ice cream")
If an inability to complete the steps required for the task, then you must provide very simple instructions for each step. (1. Let's go in the bathroom. 2. Unzip your pants. 3. Pull your pants down. 4. Pull your underwear down. 5. Sit down. etc. etc. etc.)
My mom didn't have Alzheimer's, but she did have a terminal brain disease that caused rapid dementia. At times she would be very uncooperative as she forgot she was incontinent and she would insist she was "a big girl" and didn't appreciate being told what to do. She also lost the ability to do all the steps. (Can't tell you how many times she tried to sit on the toilet with Depends still in place.) Couple this with the inability to control movement and some joint rigidity and she would appear to be physically resisting the efforts of those assisting her. Eventually, she became wheelchair dependent, then too big of a transfer fall risk and became bedridden, so the toileting issue was moot. Caregivers just changed her incontinence garment (diaper-style once she was bedridden) on a schedule.
I'm not sure how far along your dad is in his Alzheimer's journey, but you need to be able to gauge what he is ABLE to do (which of course is a moving target with a progressive disease) and adjust your expectations to his abilities. You may find that toileting will always be somewhat of a struggle that changes as his disease progresses.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Have you looked at the videos on You tube, by Teepa Snow on dementia behavior and care? She has some helpful suggestions.
I might also look to see if changing how you are doing it would make a difference. Try different techniques. If you are doing it in the bathroom that is cold, try heating it. If you are doing it on the bed, can he be made to feel more secure on the bed? He may fear falling. Are other people present? Maybe, he needs privacy. Are you using wipes that may be cold? He may find it unpleasant. Could you make sure that he's calm first? Perhaps, play soothing music? And, if you ask him to do something, like move your leg and he doesn't, don't keep repeating it and get frustrated. Just do it for him and continue, so he doesn't feel defeated. Using positive and comforting words may make him feel less agitated.
I hope you get more suggestions. I only helped changing my LO's clothes.
If cooperation is the problem, try offering a small reward for compliance with the request. ("Hey let's go use the bathroom, and then we'll look through your magazine or get some ice cream")
If an inability to complete the steps required for the task, then you must provide very simple instructions for each step. (1. Let's go in the bathroom. 2. Unzip your pants. 3. Pull your pants down. 4. Pull your underwear down. 5. Sit down. etc. etc. etc.)
My mom didn't have Alzheimer's, but she did have a terminal brain disease that caused rapid dementia. At times she would be very uncooperative as she forgot she was incontinent and she would insist she was "a big girl" and didn't appreciate being told what to do. She also lost the ability to do all the steps. (Can't tell you how many times she tried to sit on the toilet with Depends still in place.) Couple this with the inability to control movement and some joint rigidity and she would appear to be physically resisting the efforts of those assisting her. Eventually, she became wheelchair dependent, then too big of a transfer fall risk and became bedridden, so the toileting issue was moot. Caregivers just changed her incontinence garment (diaper-style once she was bedridden) on a schedule.
I'm not sure how far along your dad is in his Alzheimer's journey, but you need to be able to gauge what he is ABLE to do (which of course is a moving target with a progressive disease) and adjust your expectations to his abilities. You may find that toileting will always be somewhat of a struggle that changes as his disease progresses.