Too Much On My Mind; Bit of A Rant With Question; How Can I Get My Mom To Let Nurses Help Her As She Recovers So She Won't Fall?

I lurk on here so much...but I thought I'd try and participate as I am losing my mind and feel very much so like the bad person I fear I am. I hope I don't bother anyone, and thank you for anyone who reads this or anything from me..Sorry ahh.

I have been my 83 year old moms sole caregiver for the past 2 years.... We live in the same house, or we did... I'm not sure what is going on... I know I sound like an awesome caregiver, huh? I do my best but I know it's not good enough; I am adopted [biological grandmother] and except for her youngest son her other kids will not see her because she lives with me; one kicked her out for speaking to me?... bah. I feel guilty; their hate for me doesn't bother me, it only makes me sad because I know their neglect makes *HER* sad...because of me.

Sorry I am very nervous.... I am trying not to be. SO her son wasn't really involved except once a month until 5 weeks ago. I don't know how to drive so since being laid off he drives for her most of the time... anyway, for the past 5 weeks life has been flipped upside down...

I couldn't handle emotionally watching her decline every day...but I was happy she was here with me, I do love her with all my heart. She was very weak though so when she went to the emergency room / hospital a few weeks ago they suggested she go to a skilled nursing home to do rehab.

She would be coming home today had she listened to them... And if anyone has any advice on the following please do share if you don't mind...

While at skilled nursing she was supposed to call the nurse if she had to go to the bathroom. They do take their time and I am not too fond of the staff :| , it still would be better for her to wet herself and have to change than for her to get up on her own until she had her strength back...
She had already fallen up there 2 times and no nurse knew about it! She wants to stay at this place & it's really the only option I guess?

Sorry back on topic...
She got up last Saturday, fell, no one was there so she went to get up again and broke her hip. Sunday she had surgery, then this whole week she has pretty much slept... I didn't know if she'd ever come out of it, but it turns out she is allergic to the pain med... All of them as they tried different ones. She was mostly coherent yesterday for the first time since Saturday, but I am very worried...

How can you make someone call for help? Even here she won't always call me, I have to constantly be listening, and even then I fail at times. I am worried for her to just come home because she needs the rehab, and if she falls again... I don't know what will happen :( bah! but that is my fear with this skilled nursing home also; what if she falls while she's in there?? I don't know how to help her remember how vital it is to not get up.

This all happened so suddenly; a few weeks ago they found out she wasn't having a stroke but internal seizures...they may need to put a pace maker on her so she's wearing a heart monitor, no one will listen to me re: her meds so she's had to withdraw from Valium until her son finally told them she's been on it too long to come off now...

I don't know why they don't take me as seriously as they do him... My age is my only guess as I live with her, I take care of her from morning through the night, best I can...I know her meds, and... I don't know :(

I am terrified. Within 5 weeks her decline has been so dramatic and I am struggling to keep up... I have trauma related mental illness & am on disability for the time and I feel so misunderstood and alone. Like no one wants to talk to me or give me answers despite being her caregiver... I feel inferior, and I know this isn't about me....I just ...the worlds flipped upside down, and I don't know what to do.

Thank you if you read this, I'm sorry for complaining...if anyone replies and for some reason I can't, thank you...please don't be too harsh, I'm sorry if I'm annoying ahh.. Thank you.