My 96-year-old mother has been dying for days. When she was found unresponsive at her ALF late on Monday afternoon, my brother went to the hospital and was allowed in because of her deteriorating condition. He stayed all night. On Tuesday, we got a call from the hospital, asking if we lived close, and we better get over to the hospital now--she was crashing. We went, stayed until 12:30am and finally asked the staff what they thought. They, of course, couldn't say for sure, but the gist is, she was more or less "stable." She has been put on comfort care instead of curative, which is what she would have wanted. We went back yesterday, sat for several hours, not much, if anything, changed. I am not complaining and I apologize if that's the way it seems. I'm just getting weary and don't know how much longer I can go in and watch my mother slowly die. Does anyone have experience with this?
I'm so sorry for what you're going through!
I was able to be with both my father and my beloved Uncle just before they passed.
Take comfort in the fact that even if it doesn't seem like it, she knows that you're there!!
96 is a good long life!! Hopefully a life well lived.
Obviously she is well loved!!
Your life will go on. And you will carry her with you always!
God bless!!
I wanted to sing a hymn to her and tried "Rock of Ages" but she didn't want that, she had been having nightmares about being stuck in the rocks. After she passed, I thought of the hymn I should have used: "Softly and tenderly Jesus is calling...calling for you and for me. (etc). I came to visit her for Mother's Day weekend and saw her on Saturday with the intent of seeing her again Mother's Day morning, but she died before anyone could get there. I went anyway and just sat quietly with her, recalling my many memories of our relationship. I felt her spirit was still there and we could connect on that level.
It felt very much like the right thing to do. I set aside a time now each week to think and pray for my mom and dad and other relatives and friends, holding them in my thoughts, praying for them to grow closer to God. It is my way of saying "Thank You" for the care and guidance I was given. Of course, I still miss them these many years later, but they are in a much better place now than here, so I just wait until it is my time to join them and try to live purposefully and in a caring way until then. I have heard this statement: "I have made death a messenger of joy! Wherefore dost thou grieve?" We grieve for our sense of loss, but can honor their memories by living a thoughtful life.
Please accept my condolences on the loss of your mother. I pray that your mom, your brother and you are at peace now.