My 96-year-old mother has been dying for days. When she was found unresponsive at her ALF late on Monday afternoon, my brother went to the hospital and was allowed in because of her deteriorating condition. He stayed all night. On Tuesday, we got a call from the hospital, asking if we lived close, and we better get over to the hospital now--she was crashing. We went, stayed until 12:30am and finally asked the staff what they thought. They, of course, couldn't say for sure, but the gist is, she was more or less "stable." She has been put on comfort care instead of curative, which is what she would have wanted. We went back yesterday, sat for several hours, not much, if anything, changed. I am not complaining and I apologize if that's the way it seems. I'm just getting weary and don't know how much longer I can go in and watch my mother slowly die. Does anyone have experience with this?
May God grant you grieving mercies and comfort during this difficult time.
Great big warm hug!🤗
Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to post. Truly, every single response was helpful and made me feel less alone.
This is a wonderful forum.
Sorry that your mom is passing. Hope it is quick and as pain free as possible.
People saying you'll be sorry is so wrong.
Only we know our personal situations and what our loved ones would want for themselves and what we can deal with. I don't believe that we have to watch someone die to prove our love.
I am sorry for your loss and I pray that God grants you wisdom and courage right now to do what you are supposed to do.
I have heard of this so many times, and experienced it in my own family. I wish I knew for certain what her wishes would be. Does she want companionship at this time or does she want to spare us the pain of watching her die? Again, as I said above, if I knew what would help her, I would do it-regardless of how it effects me. But if I'm only getting an experience that I can never un-see, with no benefit to her, what is the point of going?
Thank you for the hug and prayer--I need both.
Thank you for your response. It helps.
Sending you a hug and a prayer that your mom transitions quickly and with pure peace and no pain