He takes a few wipes and washes his rear and privates then proceeds to spray a half a can of deodorant on himself. I have tried numerous times to say his children and grandchildren would like him to bathe more often, and he insists on wearing the same clothes over and over. I do sneak his underwear in the wash or he would wear them for days. I threw his old sneakers in the trash the other day due to the odor!
Does he change into PJs nightly? If so, take away all his clothes nightly. Put them in the laundry and somewhere he can't retrieve them.
Spraying so much deodorant on himself seems like a very unhealthy practice to me. Have you asked him if there is something about showering that is difficult or unpleasant to him? Would he take a bath? Do you have a shower chair?
And hiring aides to come a couple times a week often works well too, as you're not being the "bad guy" who's making him shower.
Before my husband became bedridden and was very unsteady on his feet, I would get him in the shower on his shower chair, and then I would stand on the outside and wash him up real good. Yes I got a little wet, but honestly not too bad, so you might want to try that.
And as far as him wearing the same clothes, perhaps you can try buying several of the same outfits, so he thinks that he's wearing the same clothes when in fact you're putting the dirty ones in the laundry and putting out more of the same.
I did also use the extra large body wipes on my husband for the in-between showers, along with the waterless shampoo/conditioner caps that worked great to wash his hair. You can order both on Walmart.com or Amazon.
I wish you well in getting things figured out.
With my elderly Aunt, we would tell her a "therapeutic fib" that we were expecting company, or she was going to the doctor and it was necessary to be showered up. This worked for a while. Now we have an aid come in to shower my aunt 2x a week. It sometimes still gets contentious no matter what but don't force him. If you're wanting him to shower more often, I think you'll need to compromise and reduce the amount of days.
Sometimes seniors w/dementia don't "enjoy" the shower experience anymore so maybe change it up by making sure the bathroom is really warm, his favorite music is playing, there's non-skid mat in and out of the stall, there's a shower chair and a hand-held shower head that he can control, safety grab bars, larger beach towels for drying off, etc. Maybe "run out of" deodorant so that he has to shower? You'll need to try different things to see what works. I wish you all the best on this journey.