My mother is almost 95 and lives alone since my father died six years ago. I have been overseeing her home and have people coming in to clean and shop and prepare her meals and keep her company.
The back story is that six years ago, he was convicted of a felony for stealing from her. He was under probation and no contact was allowed. She bitterly disliked him and wanted nothing to do with him. Now, she is getting dementia, and can't remember that he stole from her. And he has gradually started coming to visit her. She wants the visits, because she is "so lonely". (but actually she has people there five days a week, at least). I don't think she can even remember visits. She is very needy.
He is telling her I am going to "institutionalize" her, and throw her in a nursing home. And telling her I harass him every time he comes to visit. Which isn't true because I literally have had no contact in the past 6 years.
I am finding out what he is saying from my aunt. My mother is keeping this recent stuff a secret from me.
I would like any input on how to get this to stop. It isn't productive, and truth be told, she will need to go to assisted living in the not too distant future, because of dementia, physical issues, and just not being able to live on her own. BTW, I do have financial power of attorney. My other two siblings are out of state and not really involved.
She may not remember but, his record is proof for the law.
Your POA should give you the legal authority to do this, as in her right mind she wanted no contact with this person.
I have a durable power of attorney. Which indicates I am supposed to do her wishes, (I believe???)
I am wondering if the grandson is even saying such things, or if your Mother is starting to develop dementia, where one side effect is telling tall tales.
I would ask the caregivers if they see any signs of dementia. I know whenever I had visited my Dad at his home, he was very sharp. It was his caregivers that was telling me that my Dad's memory was slipping.
Everyone sees signs of dementia. Her short term memory is gone, and she repeats the same thing over and over again. She can carry on a conversation, and can get up and shower, and cook her breakfast, etc. And play bridge, cause she has always done it.