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My loved one in his 60s is in memory care. Except for ALZ., he is active and in good health. He has not needed Depends, but now he sometimes goes on the floor or in the trash can. His bathroom is just a few steps away. Any suggestions?

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If your loved one is already in memory care, they should be more than well versed in how to handle this. Have you asked them? And yes, he should now be in Depends full-time, because his brain is broken, and it won't get better, only worse. Best wishes.
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If he is in a good memory care facility they should know how to take care of this. Before my husband went in MC he would stand just inside the bathroom and pee all over the floor. Then he had moments when he was by the toilet as if he was going to pee and while standing up would poop on the floor. This is a horrible disease that sometimes make no sense. I wish you lots of luck! Prayers are being sent to you.
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jacobsonbob Aug 2021
Perhaps getting him into the habit of sitting on the toilet regardless of whether he is there for "#1, #2 or both" would help to prevent such "accidents".
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My husband did this with his dementia. This will be a lot of work but take notice what time he needs to go to the bathroom and how many times. Then you take him and make sure he is using the toilet. My husband sometimes would be in the bathroom just inside the door and pee all over the floor. It started to be a weekly thing for me to clean the bathroom floor at 2am-3am. I heard this is a common behavior. And yes I did end up taking all un-nessary items out of the bathroom. My husband would use Clorox disinfective wipes and hand towels to wipe himself. Good luck this is not an easy cycle to deal with.
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Memory to find the bathroom declines. Recognising the toilet can becomes a problem. Balance declines. As does brain-bladder signals, resulting in urgency &/or incontinence.

So even with a big picture on the bathroom door (worth trying though!), finding it, getting there in time, managing clothing & balancing all impact.

It may seem like a simple thing - but there are many steps to it.

"He has not needed Depends,"

But now he does - is the short answer.

Also ask staff if a toileting routine would help, as suggested.
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Sounds like he has now progressed to a stage of needing Depends - you cannot reason with him. A commode which he agreed to use and placed where he would like it may help.
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jacobsonbob Aug 2021
Maybe putting the word "toilet" on it in big letters will also help.
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Regrettably, his memory is declined and depends is now necessary. Many people who have dementia/alzheimers have similar issues and while it is frustrating for the care providers it is something that the person who has the disease cannot be taught to remember. Do your best to get him to use depends and remember he isn't doing anything purposely. Best wishes.
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Besides maybe having an extra portable commode, my dad had a urinal bedside because in the night his balance was bad and could fall. This helped him. And yes, get him some in continence underwear that look a bit like underwear. Take all his old briefs out of his drawer so he doesn’t use them. I got my dad ones from Depends that were gray pull ups. He had those until he was bedridden and needed the diaper style.
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I just wanted to reach out because I also have a husband that is 62 and going into memory care facility at the end of the month. depends will not work because they will just take them off, it just took me 2 hours to get pants on my husband. My husband has also gone in his trash can and also the utility room which is right next to the bathroom , I have tried to get him to go to the bathroom every 2 hours put he just puts up a fight. I think a memory care facility will be better trained to handle him with this issue and also bathing.
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My brother went through that.
The doctors had insisted that the toilet was not safe and he needed a potty chair over it.
Apparently he did not then recognize the toilet, so he would attempt to use the trash can beside the toilet ( and fall off).
We removed the potty chair and the problem was solved…. And no more falling off the trash can.
I hope that works for you if you have a similar situation.
My brother also tried to flush depends, but that is another issue.
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Here's a funny thing...
Is the bathroom white, with white tiles and a white toilet?
Often it just cannot be seen as everything blurs into sameness (particularly if it is multipurpose with shower, toilet, basin in the one room) - too many options can lead to indecision while dealing with more pressing matters.
I agree that 'read the sign' will not likely work, but placing some brightly colored 'feet' stickers to the destination might help eliminate the variables - it works for Santa Claus...
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