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My husband was a Veteran of the Korean War, saved every little penny to pay a $10,000 life insurance policy to pay for his burial. When he died the State took every penny because my son owed child support.
I previously worked at a social service agency and have interviewed men in their late 60’s whose children were long grown. The men were retired and receiving Social Security, now having child support deducted from it, going to back payments never made while their children were growing up. The system does have a way, not always, but often, of getting what is owed. I’m sorry this is negatively impacting you and for your loss.
Anytime your son is entitled to an IRS tax refund, probably State too, the State will take it for back child support! Even after the child is 18, that back child support will go to the mother. Why, because when ur son was not supporting his child the mother was. My daughters ex owed 8k when their son turn 18. Daughter was told son would have to sue Dad but no, she was given a debit card in her name and every time he paid, she got the money placed on the card until he was paid up.
My son has dealt with the state over child support issues with his ex. 14 years worth so far. The state has a LOT of power in this arena. I'm a little surprised your husband didn't name you as the beneficiary...
I'm very sorry for your loss and greatly appreciate his service to our country.
Doesn't look like Medicaid is involved here just the State concerning child support.
Why were u not listed as beneficiary? It is unusual. Your son did not have to pay for Dads funeral. As beneficiary that money was his to do with it what he wanted. He owed back child support so the child got it.
A friend of mine retired and had a 100k employer policy with her only child as beneficiary. Friend assumed DD would pay her funeral and then have the rest. But no, when Mom passed, the DD felt that was the new husbands responsibility. He told her if she was not willing to pay, then she would need to leave the trailer that Mom and he had title to and would need to sell to pay for Moms funeral. She chose to leave the trailer.
You could have had DH buried in a National Cemetary free of charge. A county VA cemetery I think there is some cost. Both give a very nice ceremony. If ur husband was cremated, you may still be able to have him buried by the VA.
My condolences, and sorry this happened. If your husband had intended the life insurance policy for his burial, in hindsight it would have been better to have the beneficiary designated differently so the $$ could go as he intended. The money was directed to go to your son so legally it was his, even if your husband had intended it for his burial and funeral expenses. This is why the state could take it to cover your son's back child support. They can have money taken out of social security payments or tax refunds if a person owes back child support. If the state has had to pay for supporting children when a parent isn't, I suppose it's fair to try to recoup some of those costs, similar to Medicaid estate recovery after someone dies. I'm sure it's disturbing for you all because it was unexpected, at a time when you are grieving.
Probably because those dang insurance adds on TV make it look like the only option, they never show adds for prepaid funerals ( that I can recall) And they make it look sooo easy!
Each state decides the process as regards Medicaid recover/clawback. I doubt if the son's child support payments are at all a question. The fact is that pretty much every penny hubby had will be confiscared. Because you are a surviving spouse you should get an elder law attorney. I assume you are executor. Because you are spouse you want to protect what assets you have. Your questions are best answered by an expert in your area, Trust and Estate or Probate or Elder law.
We can't and shouldn't be guessing on the questions; this is a need to know about legal matters. I would see an attorney.
Because delinquent child support must be paid off before an inheritance will be honored, by law. As beneficiary of the insurance policy, your son must have owed more than $10,000.00 in back child support payments so the inheritance was used to pay for it.
As a veteran, was your husband not entitled to any VA benefits?
My question also. (first of all, condolences to Suzzanne on loss of husband.
But as a veteran one is entitled to certain burial benefits.
But also, is the wife not the beneficiary of the husbands life insurance? If the wife was not alive, then sure the son. This may differ in states. Anyway, if the wife was the beneficiary, not the son, the sons child support debts should not figure in.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I'm very sorry for your loss and greatly appreciate his service to our country.
Why were u not listed as beneficiary? It is unusual. Your son did not have to pay for Dads funeral. As beneficiary that money was his to do with it what he wanted. He owed back child support so the child got it.
A friend of mine retired and had a 100k employer policy with her only child as beneficiary. Friend assumed DD would pay her funeral and then have the rest. But no, when Mom passed, the DD felt that was the new husbands responsibility. He told her if she was not willing to pay, then she would need to leave the trailer that Mom and he had title to and would need to sell to pay for Moms funeral. She chose to leave the trailer.
You could have had DH buried in a National Cemetary free of charge. A county VA cemetery I think there is some cost. Both give a very nice ceremony. If ur husband was cremated, you may still be able to have him buried by the VA.
Because you are a surviving spouse you should get an elder law attorney. I assume you are executor. Because you are spouse you want to protect what assets you have.
Your questions are best answered by an expert in your area, Trust and Estate or Probate or Elder law.
We can't and shouldn't be guessing on the questions; this is a need to know about legal matters. I would see an attorney.
As a veteran, was your husband not entitled to any VA benefits?
My condolences on the loss of your husband.
But as a veteran one is entitled to certain burial benefits.
But also, is the wife not the beneficiary of the husbands life insurance? If the wife was not alive, then sure the son. This may differ in states. Anyway, if the wife was the beneficiary, not the son, the sons child support debts should not figure in.
Or, I guess it depends on who was named.