My mother's mental health has been declining rapidly over the past 2 to 3 months now. She has stopped being able to do anything really. I have to make all of her meals, make sure she is dressed and clean, make sure she takes her medication properly. I've pretty much become a mother to her now. It is just me even though we have quite a big family. They each have given excuses on why they can not help with her. Some works night shift, some works 11 hour days, some are afraid of the CO-VID virus, and so on. It's just me. I work 2 jobs and go to school full time and I need help. I have begged my family for help and have not received any. I have literally begged. I can not sleep in fear she will try to cook and burn the house down. She has done this 3 times so far and I have woken up to the smell of something burning because of it. I don't sleep much at all anymore. I can't because I fear she will hurt herself by trying to do something. This morning I woke up to her going out the front door with some random papers, trying to see how far it is to some place. She doesn't really know. She thinks she has to go somewhere or be somewhere. Then she hits me with that she had to see how far away this place is because I don't do anything for her and wouldn't help her. I have been the one helping her, the only one helping her, for months. I am at my wits end and have been there for a while now. It's an every day thing. She broke out the back door that's been messed up for a while but we know not to mess with it and I had to try to fix it. She locked the bathroom door and I had to finally break it down because I was running late for work and could not leave it locked because she would end up messing herself again. I know I'm jumping around but I am so tired and so stressed and I don't know what to do. I love my mom very much and it kills me to see her this way. It kills me that no one in my family will help me or her. I have asked for a week or a weekend off, to have her go stay with a family member for just a little bit, nope. That can't happen for some reason. I don't want to come off as whiney or ungrateful because my mom has been a wonderful mother. She's just not my mom right now. She's someone different. Someone I don't recognize most of the time. And I just don't know what else to do but put her in a place that will have help with her 24/7. I tried getting a professional to come in and help but insurance doesn't cover it and I can't afford it. I just need help. Is there anyone out there that can help? Please?
This is not sustainable for you or your mom, your mom needs 24/7 care. If you can provide more info there are plenty of members here who have successfully placed their loved ones in care facilities that can help with advice.
I'm sorry you are going through this, you do not sound whiney or ungrateful at all! Please stick around, you will get lots of support here!
How did it come to pass that your mother came to live with you?
You are going to literally kill yourself if you keep it up.
Others will give you advice on exactly what to do. I just want you to know that you do NOT have to continue to be your mother's 24/7/365 caregiver.
Others in the family may tell you that your mother should not have to go to a facility. Ignore them. Do you have POA/HCPOA? And don't feel too sorry for your mother, either. She raised your siblings who will do nothing for her. Were you always the scapegoat?