My husband and I take care of Miss Daisy in her home or wherever she may be (rehab, emergency room, dr. Apt,hospital, etc.) She is 90. All of her needs are taken care of, but rather than appreciation, she seems to be getting more manipulative. When we call her, she speaks only about herself, never a question about our lives. Ever. It's so hard to have a normal relationship with someone who is so narcissistic. If we try to change the subject and interject something about our lives, she will somehow turn the conversation into her experience. I don't even like to call anymore because it is so boring being talked at and listening to minute details about her skin, her hemmoroids, bowel movements, etc. I've been married to my husband for forty years, yet, when she calls here, rarely, she calls and asks for him. It's almost like I don't exist. She'll say things like, "You know, I'm getting so tired of frozen dinners." She is expecting me to provide meals for her, yet when I have done that, she rarely seems to appreciate it. We sent flowers for Valentine's Day. On the phone later, we had to ask if she received them. "...oh, yes.......thank you" she replied like they were expected. I know I would be more involved if I felt like she appreciated me rather than working me to see what else I can do for her. She has no interests and no friends. When I make myself call her (because I feel like I should do the right thing) she will always end the conversation with,"call me." I really resent that. She is able to call me, why do I always need to call her? I know at 90, someone can't do everything they once did, but this woman is plain lazy.
He told me, his Mom is so self centered she never realized he wasn't on the line....just talked non-stop about herself. It was the only way he could stand to call his mom
I have a 93-year-old aunt whom I am not crazy about. She'll call and if she gets my voicemail the imaginary clock starts as to when I call her back. If I don't call her back in her allotted amount of time she will call my adult daughter and tell my daughter that she is unable to get ahold of me. This in turn worries my daughter as I have health problems so then my daughter will start calling me. If my daughter can't get ahold of me she will call my neighbor and my neighbor will dutifully trek over here to check on me. By the time everyone realizes I am working a 12-hour shift I'm in damage control trying to reassure everyone that I'm not dead on the floor. So if my aunt calls and gets my voicemail I stop whatever it is that I'm doing (even if I'm at work) to return her call. It's invasive but I now know the price of not calling my aunt back right away. I'm not going to change her so I accept that this is the way it is.
Don't expect Miss Daisy to ask about your life. She calls to talk about herself. She's 90 years old and is probably lonely. Let her go on. Do some dusting while she prattles on (this is what I do when I'm on the phone with my aunt---catch up on some quiet housecleaning).
You can always have your husband make the calls. After all, it's his mother.