We were having a discussion about being invited to a relative's home for a birthday party and someone there went to urgent care for a cough. I think it was my little granddaughter. Even though vaccinated I did not want to chance an illness and so I refused to go . I am 92 and flew from Fl. to N.J. to visit family after being alone for over a year because of pandemic. Also I had just lost my husband a few months prior. My DIL became hostile, screaming at me and pulling her hair! She kept reminding me of the beautiful room they allowed me to stay in during my visit! To top off her anger she accused my deceased husband of never paying her during the years she worked for him and I have the books that show every paycheck she got! It finally came to an end when I let her have it and my son broke down and cried "Please stop I can't take it". I am home now and I never want to see her again. What do I do when my son wants to come to visit and bring this horrible person that he is married to for over 40 years with him? She has been mean to me many times before when I visited but I always "turned the other cheek" I reached my boiling point. She needs to see a Doctor or at least attend an Anger management class. She hates everybody but only lashes out at me. They have an adopted daughter who got divorced and moved back in with them. I have never experienced anyone's crazy behavior like this before. My son has asked me to overlook this situation and made her apologize before I left which she did but that does not change the way I feel about her.
I have learned to just let it go. When we visit its so the brothers can see each other.
I adored my mother in law. She treated me like I was her daughter. I am so grateful to have had such a loving relationship with her.
It’s truly sad that you don’t have a good relationship with your daughter in law. I sincerely doubt that she will want to stay with you at your house. It doesn’t sound like she is interested in behaving in a civil manner towards you out of respect for her husband or you.
I am sure that this is incredibly uncomfortable for your son. Naturally, he is going to support his wife. Did you accept her apology? Was she sincerely apologizing? You say that your son “made” her apologize.
Maybe there is something going on in their lives that you aren’t aware of and somehow you hit a nerve with her and she took everything out on you, which is unfortunate.
Does your son and his family normally stay at your home when they visit? They can book a hotel for any upcoming visits.
I hope somewhere down the line, healing and forgiveness can occur. Let the dust settle. Give her time to cool down. Hey. look at the bright side, you don’t live anywhere near her! 😊
I realize that this ordeal was upsetting, but it is probably best to let it go. Your son obviously loves you. Do you speak to him on the phone or online often? I don’t think that I would bring this incident up to your son. Don’t put yourself in the middle of their relationship.
Wishing you and your family all the best.