My single sister, 58, had emergency kidney removal with various serious complications and is not ready for rehab. With Covid only I can be with her. She is clinging to me, wanting me to be with her constantly. I go to brother’s house at night since I live out of state. Now she has room phone and is calling others to tell me to call her during the night, that she’s lonely and wants me back at hospital as soon as visiting hours start. She can’t call me direct because I have long distance phone. They call me, I can’t call her back after hours and can’t go back to sleep. I’m 64, retired and have a husband. I’ve been here for 10 days and there is no end to hospital care in sight because of complications. I’m not getting rest because I’m at the hospital 11-12 hrs day. I’m getting worn out. I want to help her help herself but she has become a clingy child. She was independent before this but became reclusive in past year because of health. I don’t know her friends, if any. I have to go home sometime but she is not hearing me on it. Our nephew is her medical POA and has helped where he can, but he works and has a family. I’ve also taken care of both deceased parents. I don’t want to become resentful this soon but I feel weighed down.
"She can’t call me direct because I have long distance phone. " I read this and read this not understanding what you meant. Then it dawned on me, your sister can only make local calls from the Hospital phone and you have an out of state area code number.
I would inform your sister and the others that I will be putting my phone on Do Not Disturb once I leave the hospital. I will call her just before I leave brothers house to see if she needs anything.
You need to kindly tell your sister that u need your sleep. That its not fair after spending all day with her, that she is not allowing you to have your evenings to yourself and getting a good nights sleep. I personally could not spend all day sitting in a hospital trying to entertain someone. Neither would I be there first thing in the morning. Maybe mid morning. ( for me more like after lunch. I am not a morning person). When they serve lunch, take a break in the cafeteria. Then stay till dinner is served. You don't need to stay 12 hrs.
Seems there is other family just you are the one who is not working. So she is not alone. They must visit when they can. She has a phone so she can call friends. She can read, watch TV, play on a tablet or laptop. I know its hard on her and lonely but I would think you need to go back to ur home sometime. Do you plan on staying for her hospital stay and rehab? If so, you need to set boundries now or you aren't going to be able to do it longterm.
Does your sister also have a financial PoA? And a Living Will? If not, these should also be put into place by her. The hospital has on-staff notaries, if needed. I wish you extra emotional strength and peace in your heart as you try to help her the best you can.