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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Is your Mom able to be independent? Does she live in her own home, Assisted Living or Long-term care?
If she is independent and able to do for herself, I would not worry. If she is in an AL or LTC she is safe and cared for.
You deal by setting boundaries for yourself even if she tries to step over them. If you call and she gets started, tell her you will call her back when she is in a better mood. You get treated the way you allow people to treat you. Be happy that you do not live near her. And do not promise her anything. You should never live with her or her with you. Your in control, do or not do its up to you. Mom needs you more than u need her.
Well first be grateful that you live many states apart. And what does her age have to do with not being able to go "no contact?" Do you feel that you have some type of responsibility to her? You don't you know? Just because she is your mother doesn't mean that you owe her anything. It is entirely up to you as to how much time and effort you want to put into your relationship with her. You again have the advantage of being miles apart, so if you decide that you still want to be her advocate(from afar)well so be it. And if you decide that you've had enough of her nonsense and want to go no contact, well so be it. Only you can decide what you will tolerate and what you won't. You have to do what is best for your mental health, not your mothers.
Does she live alone? Does anyone else check up on her? Does she need help? Perhaps she needs assisted living ? If she was being looked after in assisted living, then you could step back knowing that she is being cared for. You could call the staff to see how she is doing.
If she is of sound mind and needs no help , go no contact if you like.
Im in same boat. People don't understand narcissitic personality disorder can take the forms of verbal, physical, emotional abuse then add dementia and alz. I'm an only child so I opted for assisted living and have been very clear about the situation.
She is 84 and could live at least ten more years. Also being 84 doesn’t entitle anyone to perpetual contact, care, hovering, worry, or popcorn on Friday nights.
What encourages help for an 84 year old person is if they’re being pleasant, thoughtful, kind, undemanding and appreciative. If your mom isn’t any of these qualities, you have the right to pull the plug.
Abuse from others is never okay. Next question, please.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If she is independent and able to do for herself, I would not worry. If she is in an AL or LTC she is safe and cared for.
You deal by setting boundaries for yourself even if she tries to step over them. If you call and she gets started, tell her you will call her back when she is in a better mood. You get treated the way you allow people to treat you. Be happy that you do not live near her. And do not promise her anything. You should never live with her or her with you. Your in control, do or not do its up to you. Mom needs you more than u need her.
Just because she is your mother doesn't mean that you owe her anything. It is entirely up to you as to how much time and effort you want to put into your relationship with her.
You again have the advantage of being miles apart, so if you decide that you still want to be her advocate(from afar)well so be it. And if you decide that you've had enough of her nonsense and want to go no contact, well so be it.
Only you can decide what you will tolerate and what you won't.
You have to do what is best for your mental health, not your mothers.
Perhaps she needs assisted living ? If she was being looked after in assisted living, then you could step back knowing that she is being cared for. You could call the staff to see how she is doing.
If she is of sound mind and needs no help , go no contact if you like.
What encourages help for an 84 year old person is if they’re being pleasant, thoughtful, kind, undemanding and appreciative. If your mom isn’t any of these qualities, you have the right to pull the plug.
Abuse from others is never okay. Next question, please.