How do I establish boundaries with my 91 year old neighbor & friend? I’m 80, I have health issues, and Covid is a problem also. Her children are living in denial about her mental & physical health. The paramedics are at her home more & more frequently. She isn’t eating properly, even with Meals on Wheels. She falls, can’t get up, takes off her emergency notification necklace, on & on. Help!!!!!
If you have any responsibility to this friend, it would be to get someone else involved to make sure she is safe. Caring for her is not your responsibility especially when children are available.
It sounds like you might be spending more time with her and then you are really able or willing to do. If so, I guess you can just back out a bit. If she calls with her problems, tell her you're sorry but you are not feeling well and she needs to call a) her family or b) her doctor or c) 911.
If she doesn't want to let you off the phone or wants you to come over, stick to the above and tell her you aren't feeling well and can NOT do it and that she needs to call someone else.
It is hard but you have to do what's best for you first.