Well my Mom has a history of Mental Health conditions to which we recently also found out in September 2021. She ALSO has early stages of dementia. Which explains a lot of the signs and symptoms and just little things she had started doing all of a Suddden following the passing of her only remaining living sister in September and her only living parent her father 5 days before Christmas of 2021, both of them lived with my parents and had ongoing medical conditions my mom helped take care of them. My mom’s health Never fully ever recovered, she never seemed to bounce back to her normal self afterwards infact her demeanor and things she used to do in her normal day to day life were all like a distant memory. Her mental health rapidly took a nose dive for the secound time in her life, the symptoms like confusion, forgetting what she was going to say so just getting irritated and sometimes verbally expressed her frustration, she became VERY combative still is she has these yelling outburst that tend to include trying to push, shove, scratch, hit whoever is in front of her… and she’s extremely paranoid, she’s all over the place ping ponging around or sleeping, and her personal hygiene is non existent my dads either. My dad let’s start saying he’s a veteran (possible VA assistance for re homing?? ) My dad is a recovering alcoholic of over 22 years, he had to stop working when he fell into a huge depression, we learnt he had Parkinson’s and early stages of Dementia. His left hand which was just staring to slightly jitter, or bounce, he also started showing signs an symptoms of his dementia getting worse as well as his Parkinson’s. He currently is having night terrors, he is very disoriented, confused, and worst of all he is hallucinating BADLY all the time. It used to be what he would call “illusions”, not anymore. He has fallen quiet a bit, almost No strength in his body, rapid weight loss… She is as I stated moody, irritated outburst with some kind of physical thing usually it happens to my dad.. she is very sensitive to things she cries alot, her behavior reminds me something of a maybe a austistic 7-9 year old. I have recently been laid off because they would blow my phone up all day long while I was at work.. I could not focus on my job properly, and it just got to be too much. I am married, with 3 Teenagers, one is a senior this year and we have mortgage and all the other normal bill do I NEED to go back to work we need to extra income. But there is No way that’s going to be possible with me being their caretaker, and forgive me but I do not want this caretaker responsibility, it’s Overwhelming not to mention heart breaking!! I loose my cool with them bc I don’t put up with none of the BS..With that said… it’s extremely difficult for me to accept BOTH parents are progressing so quickly at the same time… when just 2 weeks ago my dad was helping me get a car and was fine outside his Parkinson’s. So… I NEED HELP PLEASE! I’m in Texas, near Houston, WHERE do I start, WHO do I call first?? I need figure how to get BOTH in a place with the constant 24/7 watch and care they need… on a once a month check of less than $2200… that’s for both, not each…. Please any help is appreciated… Also, home care is not a option it’s been tried and not good results… Also…any advice on how to get them at this point to sign POA and other documents??? Ahhhh!!!! This is all VERY VERY stressful for me. ANY and ALL advice, suggestions, anything is welcomed. I Thank you so so much in advance, this website has been a lifesaver to me!!
I doubt many have the assets for memory care for two people for any amount of time. Your parents certainly do not so they are down to medicaid and as I said, very difficult placements given the level of care they need. Tell the doctor that placement is necessary now for your own mental and physical health, that you don't want to leave this for the ER DUMP. Ask for social services help to begin the placement process.
Then there is the visit to an elder care attorney to be certain all the ducks are in a row as to whether or not you have POA, guardianship, or any other means of acting FOR your parents best interests to get them placed.
I honestly cannot imagine the difficulty of all you mention. You are dealing not only with aging, dementia, disease, but also with mental fragility, and you are dealing with lack of money. It is crucial that you put forth none of your OWN money, as you can see what a lack of savings looks like in the aged and infirm firsthand here.
I hope you will update us. I know you feel helpless, and I would as well. Start with the MD, and I hope you have an understanding one. Today it is difficult to find anything other than an uninformed PA, let alone an MD.