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I know I need help caring for DH, but how do I find the right person? What questions should I ask Agencies to choose one to use? What do I ask potential Aides? What can I reasonably ask an Aide to do? Thanks, all!

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Here's the thing about going through a care agency. Pretty much their only concern is placing a worker in a house then collect the money. Do not be fooled by those lovely commercials on tv who show a caregiver having a wondeful time sipping tea and doing a puzzle with some delightful senior citizen. They're a total sham. Most homecare agencies will pretty much hire anyone. Believe me I know. I worked for several of them.
I'd hire a private caregiver that you pay privately. Go on a caregiver website and find one. You can negotiate the wages with them and you will do your own reference checks. Insist on references from actual families that you can work for and speak to.
If you're going to use an agency for insurance reasons check out the actual reputation of the agency. Check them out online. When you choose one, ask to meet a few of their caregivers before making a committment to using their agency. This way you can get an idea of what kind of people they hire. Then ask what the hourly pay is for their caregivers. If they're hesitant about answering then their help gets minimum or just above. So you really can't expect much from the help.
The more an agency pays its help, the better the employees.
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newbiewife Jan 2022
We've used several different agencies, and though they each have their own faults, we did not feel that any of them are as you report--just in the business to collect money but not caring about trying to get a good match between the caregiver and the client. We've had caregivers with whom the "chemistry" wasn't right, or who were less than relaiable in terms of time and attendance, but the agencies were always open to finding someone different for my husband. I've no doubt that some people have had bad experiences with agency caregivers, but I think many have had bad experiences with private pay situations as well. I think caregivers have enough on their plates that managing employees is yet another burden. If a person doesn't mind having to do a lot of hands on managing with privately hired aides, I'm sure it could work out very well financially and could be just fine if you hire the right people and can retain them.
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harveysgal: State the health care needs of the patient.
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I am not there yet, my thoughts are, if he just needs someone to be here when I get out for a break, I am hoping to get a male who will be willing to watch videos of woodworking, metalworking, guns, and at least old black and white westerns.

I an going to start looking at agencies first. The sponsors for this forum is one source, I believe it is AgingCare. My social worker at the County Office of Aging will probably have some ideas. The attorney who did our trust has already introduced me to an agency called Liv Home. Then there is A Place for Mom, and Home Instead, I have a business card for A Foundation for Elder Care. I am sure there are many others.
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Naturally you discuss all the medical aspects and what you need to have done. Then you have to consider personalities - outgoing, bubbly, extrovert type vs. someone much more quiet, introverted but capable. To me that is extremely important for the chemistry to be "comfortable". Discuss hearing and if they have accents - in some cases, it is impossible to understand what they are saying. Find out if they are qualified and willing to do what needs to be done, etc.
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Tell the agency and the people who you interview what the person will need in terms of care, and if the person is difficult to care for in specific ways (do they refuse to take medications or bathe, do they wander and might leave the house, do they have difficulty sleeping and need someone to watch over them at night, etc.). You may need an experienced aide if the person is difficult. Men sometimes prefer male aides.
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The agency our caregiver works for posts a notice to all the employees, explaining who the client is (82 yr old male w/Dementia). Needed 6 hr a day Mon-Fri. Light housekeeping, companionship, assist with dressing, bathing, toileting, meal prep.
Any employee who is interested notifies the case manager, and an aide was sent to my house. I went through 3 before I found the one who has been with us for 2 1/2 years.

So don't be afraid to talk to the agency until you get the perfect fit. Our caregiver is a life saver. Hugs to all
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References, references, references. And talk to the people at length, how long did they know the person, what work did the person do, any problems with reliability. If through an agency, ask what checks they have done. Criminal, etc. Trust your gut. I knew a headhunter who had very lengthy chats with any reference. Irksome, but revealing. Obviously, stick close to the person when working initially. This is assuming your patient is not able to judge for themself. If they are, it gives you more latitude.
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The list of things they will do is pretty broad, cleaning, personal care and hygine, assistance with exercise and mobility, shopping, cooking, appointments.

Driving
Do you need assistance with taking to appointments. In this case, they need to have a license and insurance. Our PSW can drive but she is not insured, but there is another lady in the company we can call on for this service.

Nursing
Most PSW will not administer medications. You need to be a nurse to do this. As far as I know this is possible, but it costs more to have a full nurse, and is a bit more than most people need.

Dietician
Our PSW prepares meals for my Mom, but they will not provide dietician services, she has to go to another person for that, and develop meal plans. This is important because Mom is a diabetic, and eating properly at regular times is important. So the dietician gives the meal plans to the PSW and they implement and monitor. The PSW reminds Mom to check her weight each week and logs in our health book.

Personal health care and cleaning
As far as I know all PSW´s do this. Help with bathing, cleaning, routines, laundry, etc.

Flexibility on hours and dates
How much flexibility do you need on the dates and times. Can they be available at short notice, what days and times.

Personal suitablility
A very important factor is that my Mom likes the PSW. Have an interview between them. If this is a long term routine, and they do not like the person, my Mom will cancel the service. Personality is so important. I have no idea why mom did not like some verses others. Get this right. Things go smoother when they are happy. If they are fighting you and they do not like the PSW, this is harder.

Reporting
Decide how you want to be kept informed, and what do you want to know. Make sure you have the communication tools in place to ensure you know what care is provided, when and how to communicate if there are issues.

That was our routine for selecting PSW for ongoing home care for my mother. It is working so far.
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They'll all tell you what you want to hear so the only questions you need to ask is just have a chat with them and see how they act around the person that needs help.

You should write down everything that you would like done on a list and ask the Aide if there's anything on the list that they wouldn't feel comfortable doing.

Also, have them sign the list before hiring.

The main thing besides just watching how they act with your love one is to check their references. Always good if they've worked for the same person awhile and not just a month here or there.

Install a few cameras in the home so you can check on what's going on 24 7 from your computer or cell phone..

I had my son Install Nest and it wasn't hard.
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I suggest you start by using an agency.
Someone, usually a supervisor or care manager will come and assess what type of care your husband needs and what is involved. They will or should select a caregiver that has the experience to properly and safely care for your husband.
The cost will depend on what level of care is needed.
If it is mostly companion care and toileting you do not need to pay for someone with a higher level of skill ( that sounds bad and I don’t intend it to). If he needs to me given medication or wounds dressed the agency will want you to have a Nurse. It is probably a state requirement (it is in Illinois) you will pay more for that level of skill and certification.
If you hire privately you can instruct the caregiver to give medications and they do not have to have certification. It does make it less expensive but the paperwork you do for taxes and keeping everything legal does cause more work for you. Make sure back ground checks are done.
Finding someone, the more you talk to people, if you go to support groups you will make contacts and people will give you names.

By the way if your husband is a Veteran the VA can be of great help. Check with your local Veterans Assistance Commission to help you determine what services he may qualify for.
If you are considering Hospice they will be of great help and you can request a Volunteer that will come and help. They can not do hands on care but they can do light housework or stay with him while you run out
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