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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
You mention your husband is a vet so maybe start by calling the VA to see if you qualify for any driving services?
If you have means, a private service like Visiting Angels can provide a companion (which is the least expensive level of caregiver) who can drive you anywhere. I don't think there's any minimum of hours required but the best people want consistent hours. My aunties in FL have a companion come M-Sat for 4 hours every morning. It works great for them.
If your means are limited, call your county and have them come in and assess you for free or very discounted driving (and other) services. In MN my in-laws qualified for housekeeping and food prep services. Not sure what your county provides.
If you need help downsizing, this is another issue. If you are serious about it then I would let your CA children know and discuss a plan. All expenses for them to help you should be covered by you. If they have jobs it means they may have to use up their limited vacation days or take leave of absence. This is their reality. I think in CA they may have a law about family care leave. Your children will tell you.
May I humbly suggest that you consider downsizing and getting yourselves into a nice senior community while you are both still able to make your own decisions and it isn't too taxing physically? It will only get worse as time goes on. Why wait for a crisis and the then have to make changes and decisions under duress? I understand that aging often feels like just having your layers peeled away one (or more) at a time. Moving is strenuous and difficult and doesn't get any easier. Perhaps you may consider moving close to your children? At least you'd get to see them (and grandchildren). Just a thought. Wishing you lots of help!
You do not tell us too much here, and I am not one to go to profiles overmuch to research. I cannot know where you live. My bro recently found out by demolishing his car and himself, that it is time to stop driving. 85 with balance issues, brain tumor diagnosed after accident is benign and there for decades likely, but pressing on his balance centers. Also a probably or possible early Lewy's by symptoms. So no more driving. He lives in Palm Springs which means not good transit and too hot to wait for the buses so he is down to Uber and Lyft, which don't work with no computer or cell phone--neither of which he has. Nor the wish to learn them now. So he has found one driver. And he has entered assisted living where the bus takes him to his appointments, and goes on field trips, to shopping malls, and etc. once a week. There are many options, but if you are alone where there is no transit, no computer or cell to summon Uber of lyft, no funds to enter care, it is truly a dilemma. Can you tell us more about your own situation?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
https://paainc.org/transportation-services.html
If you have means, a private service like Visiting Angels can provide a companion (which is the least expensive level of caregiver) who can drive you anywhere. I don't think there's any minimum of hours required but the best people want consistent hours. My aunties in FL have a companion come M-Sat for 4 hours every morning. It works great for them.
If your means are limited, call your county and have them come in and assess you for free or very discounted driving (and other) services. In MN my in-laws qualified for housekeeping and food prep services. Not sure what your county provides.
If you need help downsizing, this is another issue. If you are serious about it then I would let your CA children know and discuss a plan. All expenses for them to help you should be covered by you. If they have jobs it means they may have to use up their limited vacation days or take leave of absence. This is their reality. I think in CA they may have a law about family care leave. Your children will tell you.
May I humbly suggest that you consider downsizing and getting yourselves into a nice senior community while you are both still able to make your own decisions and it isn't too taxing physically? It will only get worse as time goes on. Why wait for a crisis and the then have to make changes and decisions under duress? I understand that aging often feels like just having your layers peeled away one (or more) at a time. Moving is strenuous and difficult and doesn't get any easier. Perhaps you may consider moving close to your children? At least you'd get to see them (and grandchildren). Just a thought. Wishing you lots of help!
There are many options, but if you are alone where there is no transit, no computer or cell to summon Uber of lyft, no funds to enter care, it is truly a dilemma. Can you tell us more about your own situation?