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My mom (age 84) will only take her meds for me, sometimes. This is in the morning—at night she never takes them. They are clearly marked in a pill organizer. She refuses to take them from any caregivers and I don’t live with her. Does anyone have advice on this? She does not understand or respond to reasoning about staying healthy.

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She probably is experiencing Sundowner's Syndrome in the evenings. Talk to her doctor about her medications. See if she can be switched to ones that are extended release - usually work for 24 hours. Then, she will only need to take medications once a day when she is most cooperative. She might also benefit from a mild anti-anxiety medication that will help her relax and be a bit more biddable.
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rosenskol: It sounds like there may be some cognitive decline going on. It is imperative that she take medications for diabetes and stroke prevention. Her physician should be made aware of this issue posthaste.
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talk to pharmacist about refusing to take some at night. perhaps it would be ok to take all her meds at the same time each day.

you can also ask the doctor if there are any that she really doesn't need.

if you don't live with her and she refuses to take them from a caregiver, does that mean she rarely takes any med at all?
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Mom (mild - mod ALZ) is fiercely independent and has personal care aides. The only way
we can get her to take her pills is to put them in a “pill glass” - small cordial glass - beside her plate and SAY Nothing - I even walk away so it’s her idea.
pill sorter was a nightmare. Battery operated gizmos were too confusing.
avoid giving during “sun downing” (3-5p) when she get testy - 2
am heart health pills with breakfast, 1 “memory pill” with dinner.m (may cause drowsiness)
certain this will change going forward - key is to unlock the key to your moms brain code for where she’s at now.
also, as others have pointed out, asking is not useful - declarative statements (here’s your pill Dr prescribed…) answer to took pills already (took am pills, this is night pill.) be certain this is not optional. If push back, wait a bit and try again.
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What is her cognitive assessment? Does she have cognitive impairment such as some form of dementia? If so this may affect her compliance or non compliance, behaviors etc.
Speak with her PCP re med issues and they may offer direction options.
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I have experienced my husband refusing to take medication. He has dementia, therefore, no reasoning. Cushing his medication very finely and mixing it into his foods and drinks has helped tremendously and keeps him more stable and restful. We do not discuss medication time anymore and he is less frustrated.
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I had the same issue with my husband who had dementia. I checked with his physicians and all medications could be crushed. I mixed them in a little applesauce and he took them without any problem.
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possibly get a pill crusher (Amazon) and put it in applesauce, or in a protein shake. As someone else wrote... her brain is broken and reasoning will not help. Some times you just have to stand over them until patient takes the pills.
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Grandma1954 Jul 2023
Any pill or tablet that is "coated" should not be crushed.
Capsules, most of them should not be crushed.
Time release medications should not be crushed.
Any medication you should check with the pharmacy if it can be crushed or cut. (usually if it has a "cut line" it can be cut or crushed)
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Can you ask the doctor if any of the medications can be prescribed as a patch that can be applied to the skin.
Many medications are available like this.
The patch can be applied to the center of the back so that she can not reach it to pull it off.
(If mom has been diagnosed with dementia, and you do not mention that in your profile, medications are not something that I would chose to "argue" about.)
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AliOJ58 Jul 2023
Check with provider about what is essential and what level of adherence is needed - for each med.
for some 70% may be fine and other require nearly 100% (ie memory pills with sun up sun down regime that requires diligence or can cause agitation and sleeplessness.
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You can try an automatic pill dispenser they have some that can be connected to WiFi and you can see if they took there medication and other family members or friends can be connected into it. You can also set it up for two weeks at a time twice a day or however you need to, the one I got my mom went up to 8 times a day. They have others that aren’t Wi-Fi They make a really loud noise and won’t stop until they tip it over to take their medicine. I got the WiFi one because I live 45 minutes away and I could ck and see if she took it. You can also set it up for what time to take it. My problem is my mom has dementia and she would tip it over and take her medicine, but I was getting calls especially around 7 at night because it kept going off and she basically didn’t like it making her go take it. She also would tell me she couldn’t get the medicine out I would tell her you did I can tell. She said she unplugged it and it didn’t stop that’s because it’s battery backup. Then one time all she did was tip it over for am and pm just to shut it up and then told me she couldn’t get it opened. You can also set it up to keep beeping for a certain amount of time. Unfortunately, she only used it for like 3 days she said I don’t like it and I don’t want it or need it, I’m doing just fine with the way I’m doing it. Which is with a regular pill container and writing it down on the chart on the paper my sister made her. I also have talked to a hospice company and they told with her heart, dementia, eye sight it is possible she could qualify for hospice and in her situation right now all they would do is send a nurse and cna 2-3 days a week. The nurse would take her vitals and put her medicine together and make sure she is taking it. The cna would do some light house cleaning run some errands and take her places. She could also keep her doctors and go and see them and have procedures done, all they would do is take her off hospice for that day and put her back on the next day. I just haven’t got the nerve up to talk to her about it. Especially with the dementia it will be hard to explain to her that this doesn’t mean she is at the end of life but if she wants to stay home she is going to have to have it. Plus she thinks she can take care of herself and put her medicine together and take it. Which she doesn’t do everyday and doesn’t always write it down or do it right. Since I’m not going to get any help from my sister I really need her to have this service. In addition; I believe the automatic pill dispenser cost me I think 170.00 on Amazon but there are cheaper ones that don’t have WiFi.
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also she didn’t like taking the meds multiple times a day so we are taking the essential all together at one time
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I am fighting this battle continuously. We do have a caregiver for 4 days a week. But the other days I call her and talk her through taking the medication. I have a webcam so I can see her swallow the pills. She has pretended to take them before I call. The doctors did take her off of the nonessential medications so she feels she’s not taking so much. You can only try your best.
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She needs to be in a home then.There are no magic answers.
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AliOJ58 Jul 2023
Or have livein care
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Her brain is broken. Of course she can’t reason or understand! She never will.

She clearly shouldn’t be living alone for this and other reasons. Even in a facility, she can refuse to take her meds, though. She can spit them out or hide them in her cheek, as my friend did. Sometimes meds can be hidden in food. Sometimes not.

There’s not a lot of encouraging stuff to say about this, and I’m sorry you’re going through it.
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Are there any medications that can be discontinued without endangering her life?
for example is she were diagnosed with dementia and has been on medications to slow the progress those could probably be discontinued. If she is on a daily vitamin, that could be discontinued.
If there are medications that she HAS to take and refuses ask the doctor to prescribe them either as a liquid that can be added to a drink or food. Or many medications come as patches that are applied to the shoulder or back. (this way they are not easily removed)
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May I ask what do the pills treat ?
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rosenskol Jun 2023
Diabetes, stroke prevention—she had one 3 years ago (statin and baby aspirin)
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Time to discuss with the MDs how caregivers give medications your Mom apparently needs when the elder refuses them.

May be time for palliative care choices or Hospice choices. Eventually some seniors even refuse to eat. You are down then to some pretty dreadful choices.

Discuss this with the MD as to what might be safely eliminated, what is a matter of life/death, and what the options are.
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southernwave Jun 2023
I second the idea of palliative care doctor. My friend is a hospice and palliative care doc and she nearly always starts withdrawing meds because she is ONE doctor who sees all of the prescribed meds.

In many cases each doctor is prescribing their own meds and there is no one person to evaluate all of the meds and their interactions and side effects.

She immediately sees the patient feel better in plenty of cases. The patient usually doesn’t mind withdrawing meds. But the family can get nervous about the idea.

Plus, they know a lot of information since this is their speciality. It’s just a really good idea.
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Have you asked her why she will not take her nighttime pills?

What are they. If Cholesterol, depending on her age, I may drop that one. Its been proven it effects cognitively. You may want to go over her meds with her doctor. It may not make all that much difference if she takes them or not. Maybe she can take them all in the morning. In the elderly, medications stay in the body longer so may need to have lower doses too.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 2023
Also body aches too. My brother can’t take it. They found another med which is incredibly expensive but he doesn’t have a choice at this point.
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Absolutely agree with Daughterof1930 -- seems as if your mother shouldn't be living alone anymore. (And this doesn't mean she should move in with you.)
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Does mom have a sound mind? Sure doesn’t sound like it. If she’s lost reasoning skills, it’s not safe for her to be living on her own. Consider if this is a bigger issue than missed meds. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this
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