I am eldest child of 5. I moved back into my parents house 8 years ago to help financially and help out with doctors appointments, declining health and overall caregiving. My parents both have health issues and I have feel like a human yoyo trying to take care of their medical needs. I find my job has been suffering and I'm overwhelmed...October 2020 -Update I am no longer working, except as the main care giver.
March 27, 2021
My mother passed away last night after THREE long years of back and forth to specialists, new doctors, labs, referrals and medications for the mystery ailment my mom seemed to have.
She used to weigh 225 pounds. She kept losing weight and had massive pain and gas after eating. No matter the diet (ie, no dairy, no gluten, no fiber, no this no that) we had tried everything even had a feeding tube inserted to help her nutritionally when it hurt after eating. When she died last night she was less than a hundred pounds at 5'6. She had in reality starved to death..NOT intentionally...her last 2 weeks of life her life, her PCP and new GI has a notion that she may have a vascular problem. This hunch/guess turned out to be partially true. She had artery blockage in the three main arteries and her small and large intestine were not receiving any blood flow. They performed exploratory surgery too late...they sent her home with hospice care and died a little after 24 hours of being in her home.
I am so angry at all the false diagnosis, lack of concern on overburdened doctors and half a** attempts to pass the buck or indifference on the doctors who she came into contact with. She suffered horribly but she was strong mentally and hardly complained (most people would have been screaming in agony) except to say she felt she had some sort of blockage. Perhaps if she had created a ruckus every time she would still be with us today.
My other issue is my father who has dementia. He can remember some long term but nothing short -term. He was sitting in a recliner beside my mom but has asked myself and my sister over and over again where my mother is...Has anyone ever dealt with the above disease (Intestinal ischemia) and what is the best way to handle my father's questions regarding what happened to my mother, his wife?
Deirdre
I am very sorry for all you Mom had to go through.
As to Dad, if his dementia is this severe you will only have to repeat this often and often until it does compute, forever if it does not. This isn't uncommon.
I wish you the best.
May God give you and your family grieving mercies and comfort during this difficult time.
She went to the store
She is at the doctor's office
She is in the bathroom
Then if you can redirect the conversation.
I am sorry for the loss of your mom.