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And is there a way I can prevent or stop him from flushing? My father is 62 and lives with me and my family. Currently he's fixated with all things water, except for showering. For health, sanitation and conservation reason this is our biggest problem now. He will sometimes wet his hands in the toilet to slick back his hair or wash his hands in it. He also flushes the toilet multiple times when he's in the bathroom. Which he goes into a lot. For the flushing, I've tried turning the water off as well as disengaging the chain from the latch. He found a way around it and added to the problem. As for the hand in toilet part. I have no clue what to do. I could put a lock on the bathroom door and have him wake me when he needs to use it. And go in to Monitor him. But there always seems to be repercussions With change. I might wake to find a mess outside the bathroom door, in the kitchen sink or worse. I'm trying to be as innovative and crafty as he. So really any and all ideas and solutions are appreciated.

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How about a composting toilet?
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LifeWithDad: Oh my...Good grief..
I can't fathom a person drinking out of the toilet! Quadruple GAG!!!
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Lol. Yes. I used to have a door chime on the bathroom door. Used to. He opened the door a lot, so...I had to take it off. I hadn't really found a solution as yet. But good news. He seemed to have moved on, though We still keep an eye out. But I did put an alarm on the inside of tank lid (he was messing around in there). After that first time. He hasn't lifted it again. Still hunting online for an solution on how the daddy proof the toilet, while still allowing him to use it properly.
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Sendme2help: Maybe not such a good idea on the ding, ding because that poor caregiver is going to be jumping up-not getting a lot of rest! LOL
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Lock the bathroom door and the portable potty could easily result in creative finger painting....sorry, I do wish you the best though, it has to be difficult.
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Alarm the toilet, once he gets up, ding ding ding, you go in there?
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Sorry for the tongue in cheek chuckle about blue water. I'm not sure any of the child locks are going to work, if he still has enough sense to do things like reattach the toilet chain he can probably figure out a child lock too. And I agree that dealing with bathroom issues in the bathroom would be a whole lot easier then the potential for disaster from a bedside commode in a carpeted bedroom. I think I would simply alarm the bathroom door so that you can go supervise whenever he enters. Definitely a p-i-t-a**, but hopefully this phase will not last too long.
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Simple is best
A child lock in the toilet seat but that means supervision when he does have to go

There's a man at mom,s memory care facility who used to be athletic and is constantly looking around for something to tinker with
He pours water and juice out if the dispensers
Runs water in the little kitchen sink
Yesterday he was slashing in the water fountain in the front garden

This man gets very few visitors and in my observation is lonely - at night he wants to sit next to someone and he is prone to sobbing

I've seen him walk around with one shoe on or just in his diapers - staff ignores him

You are doing a noble and very hard thing to care for your father
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Thank you for all your suggestions. With his frontal lobe deteriorated. no amount of talking, explaining or reasoning will work. I won't try the colored water(blue) - Chemical or otherwise. He'll think it's juice and drink it and blue hair wouldn't put him off either. Best case scenario- he comes out looking like a Smurf. But again thank you. Nursing homes or care facilities- can't afford it. We are all he's ever going to have. Though about the portable toilet. I feel really hesitant. He has rug in his bdrm. I'm Interested in the toilet lock. I will look it up. Been thinking up some ideas. Waterless composting toilets. He can flush all he want and won't have access to waste. Have to find one with a lock on composting bin or A waterless urinal- wall mounted. I will research more. What do you think about these?
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It is dmn near impossible to out innovate someone with dementia. Their imaginations are so vivid and nothing makes sense so it's hard to think ahead of them.Can't explain anything to them either, so how do you deal with it? Will he pick the toilet seat up if you put it down? Just a thought. Maybe it is just a phase and he will find something else to amuse himself with. We can only hope it isn't worse then the toilet thing. Good luck.
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I'm so sorry you are having this problem; after my husband had his stroke (he has vascular dementia), I walked into the bathroom and caught him cleaning the "skid marks" in the toilet with this hand...fortunately, as he recovered from the stroke, he stopped doing this. But, he had to be supervised when using the toilet when he was doing this kind of thing. When he came home from rehab, I did re-introduce the toilet brush and he seems to be using it appropriately. However, his "obsessive behavior now is digging in trash cans...everywhere we go! No amount of explaining does any good. When he comes to work with me, he will go to the dumpster and start going through it; when we go to a restaurant, he will dig in the trash can out side...I have to watch him constantly. He dug in the trash can outside Walmart and found a lunch bag and put it in the car...someone had vomited in it and he got it all over himself and the car. This is a very exasperating problem. I had let him sit in the car when I ran in to get his prescriptions and he said he was too tired to go in with me.

I can only tell you what I would try if the toilet was still an issue...I'd lock the bathroom door and put a portable potty in his room and he would only be allowed in the bathroom with supervision. It seems supervision is the main solution to these obsessive behaviors.

Good luck, my heart goes out to you!
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Continued-ELSE his skin wil burn!!!
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That is SUPER gross. Yes, I agree about putting the blue water in the toilet, but nothing toxic, ekse
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Try using a bedside commode and keep the bathroom door closed. If he continues, be certain that the bathroom is clean and disinfected and not used for its purpose. Play the gane with him but do your thing as well, accommodate him in a sanitary manner. It is unfortunate these dementias create such havoc in a life style.
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Put a bucket of clean water on a little stool in front of the toilet, so that when he sits there, he sees it. Place a comb, a washrag to dry hands off, and maybe one of those cute little rubber duckies. No, no rubber duckie-he might flush it.
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My mom played with feces, yet when she had initially evacuated, she would act disgusted it occurred. No one could ever explain this behavior. We had to be aware when she was in the BR and get her out if she did not come out in a reasonable time.
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I might try to find someone who could fabricate a strong, small mesh wire cage that fits snugly and can be anchored around and below the tank so it fits the entire tank. I'd also try to hide all tools useable for cutting the wire. Maybe a pint of vinegar poured into the bowl if he is more active at certain times of the day. Vinegar can be used to clean toilet bowls and it's even been used to wash hair. Maybe wiping the exposed side of the bathtub and glass shower doors with vinegar, if he has a good sense of smell. Maybe there is a medical treatment that will slow his interest in the toilet bowl. I wonder why he now uses the toilet instead of the sink/faucet. This just sounds very hard to work with, but I would probably try everything imaginable as long as it doesn't make him sick.
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Get an easy to use cleaning product-I use ScrubbingBubbles. Clean the toilet a bit every time you pass by. Relax, flush often, let go of the conservation issue. The behavior will change eventually, anyway.
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Great idea jajocaregiver08 with the food coloring. At least if the problem continues you would know that he had his hands in the water because they would be tinted so you would know to make him wash them. Another idea is to maybe put something with a strong smell like vinegar or a safe aromatherapy oil in the water. Maybe something really flowery or pine scent. He may not like the smell and stop putting it in his hair.
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Get a portable toilet (4 legs, handles, sits on floor). Put it in his room, lock the bathroom door and then supervise when he goes in there. I have a similar problem, but my husband likes to stand in front of the mirror and then rearranges things. I find pee on my lid so I have to wipe it first before I sit down, and I've seen him pee in the sink. Don't sweat the small stuff. Shut the water off outside and he cannot flush multiple times (instead of under the sink where he can turn it back on - that info is in long-term memory). The more this habit upsets you, the more frustrated YOU will become. Soon he will move onto another oddity. The brain does not understand etiquette with dementia.
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Lifewithdad all I can come up with is to leave water in the sink and maybe he will dip into that instead of the toilet. Oe good thing is that he is actually flushing the toilet. If you can afford it installing one of the extreme low flush toilets. They suck the wast away and leave very little water in the bowl. I am sure they are pretty expensive but my daughter has them in her house and they are amazing.
All the reasoning in the world is not going to change the behavior of a dementia patients all you can do is provide a diversion and let him discover it for himself.
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wow...this is a problem i've not heard of! im soooo sorry, and yes, your dad is still young! i wonder what your doctor would say or do about this problem? would you post whatever works for you? i would definitely go to a specialist not a family doctor.
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On the safe side of using colored water...you might try using a food coloring instead of a harsh chemical. If there is a color that he is not particularly fond of you might use that color of food coloring which may cause him to avoid the toilet water.
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I don't know the answer, have not heard of that one... but it seems that you are approaching him completely from an outsider/oppositional point of view, and people, elders particularly, will just respond by trying to be trickier than you.

I would put the blue in, tell him it bothers you when he uses toilet water to wet his hands. Act as if maybe you are wrong - but just say it bothers you. And then ignore it and let him work to solve this for you, not instantly. It is very possible that he only does this when the toilet water is clean - that sounds most likely. If you find he's still doing it, don't let him eat dinner until he washes his hands (n the sink, lol). AND - think of some activity that you can make time to do with him, maybe for half an hour a day - something you do, to fit yourself into his mental frame - or even some craft activity, maybe 3 times a week. Or start a new routine that he will carry dishes out, or do one chore - something that gets him engaged with you in a way you both can celebrate, and I imagine the behavior you hate will fade away. Somehow we womens (!) can think we can control life and people to live in a clean world - and in the process, lose track of the people. Make time to ask him some quiet time, if he always was interested in water or in being frugal, learn his goals with that. Maybe add new rack with damp cloth and towel and tell him this is for his hands now. I'm just thinkin'
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Since your dad's reasoning is impaired, putting chemicals in the water, won't likely prevent him from using it. He won't likely be able to process why it's dangerous. Constant supervision and locks are practically the only options.

Keeping them safe from themselves can be exhausting and time consuming. I would talk with his doctor about medications for OCD or anxiety. Sometimes they help prevent repetitive behavior. Often there will be constant repeating of statements, pacing, fidgeting with hands, etc.

I might also explore places like Memory Care facilities. I had to place my cousin into Memory Care when she was 62! Some types, like Vascular can hit very early. I wish you all the best with this journey.
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Im addition to the advice to see a physician, can you try a toilet lock, that might delay him from getting to the water in the toilet , for a few minutes. So sorry you have to go through this.
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Your father is suffering some sort of dementia/mental illness. Make an appointment with his primary care physician. While you are both in the examining room, explain his using toilet water for grooming and other bathroom activities with his physician. His physician do a urinary workup to rule out urinary tract/prostate problems, he will explain the risks to your father using toilet water, and he detail medication and other options.
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If your father has Alzheimer's, 62 years is very young, which means it will become aggressive and will only get worse fairly rapidly. You may want to talk to his doctor and start thinking along the lines of nursing home placement. If this is unacceptable perhaps his doctor can put him on medications that might help the obsessive/repetitive thinking. However, if your father has Alzheimer's and at 62 eventually he will become too much. Well, try the medication route first. Seriously--what else can one do.
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I would not put any chemicals in the toilet water. These can be very toxic if touched or swallowed.
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LOL I like that idea Pam! And at least you would know the blue water was sanitized!!
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