Since about 2 months ago she's rapidly developed aphasia, and can't remember details like my brother's phone number or the year she was born now. It's awful to watch her turn from a vigorous self-sufficient geriatric to a frail, quiet, elderly little lady. She's now forgetting to take her meds every day--we have to call her to remind her. Her memory up to this point had been terrific (she's just turned 88). She also was able to drive till just a few weeks ago. She's also become very weak and has been put on 24/7 02. Her aphasia and short-term memory gets worse every week, it feels. She's had strokes, has been evaluated and sees her neurologist regularly. Her last MRI showed she had another small stroke since her first big ones from Dec 16 (that interestly did not seem to cause any physiological changes at all).
We are moving her to assisted living soon and she's happy to go since she lives alone although we all live in the same town (mom/sibs/me). My sister says it's dementia and I'm not sure that is what it is. She forgets she's called me to ask me to help her change her 02 portable tanks, etc but she remembers names and things from long ago. Help?
As for it being dementia or just normal forgetfulness of aging is hard to know. Sometimes we over think things are wrong when it is just normal aging.
Now that I am 71, I find I can't remember names... oh well, heck I was never good at remembering names back in my 20's or 30's, so no biggee there. Oh how I wish we had telephone numbers the way they were back when I was growing up, example HOward 6-5555. So easy to remember. Yet, I am a walking GPS.
Oh, when Mom moves into Assisted Living, set up her bed room similar to what she now has at home. That way when she awakes in the middle of the night, it isn't that fear of where is she. Keep the same bedspread. Have the night table on the same side of the bed. My Dad always had his highboy dresser to the left of his bed, and luckily I was able to do that in Independent Living and in Assisted Living. Plus the same night stand and lamp.
"People who have had a stroke have a 9 times greater risk of dementia than people who have not had a stroke. About 1 in 4 people who have a stroke develop signs of dementia within 1 year."
The neurologist is the person most likely to diagnose dementia -- probably vascular dementia. Most dementia diagnoses are tentative, especially at first. They range from "this might be dementia" to "I'm pretty sure this is dementia." There really aren't good biomarkers to look at -- no way to tell from a blood test or spinal tap, etc. As the disease progresses the diagnosis becomes more certain. The only 100% sure diagnosis is one made after death by examining the brain. More sophisticated scans are being developed to look at the living brain in more detail.
I am so glad that she will be going where there will be supervision and help available 24 hours a day! That she is looking forward to it is a big bonus! In AL (or NH, if it comes to that) she will have opportunity to participate in activities, interact with staff and other residents, and completely relax about her health. She won't have to remember her own pills, for example. Her meals will be regular and she can eat in a dining room with other residents. Even if whatever she has turns out not to be dementia, this is a good environment for her.
Do come back and let us know how this goes.
If it is dementia, she won't likely be able to call and ask for help. She may not realize she needs the oxygen or she may forget your number or even how to dial a phone. I've seen that happen. Other times, the person calls over and over, since they forget they already made the call. I hope you can get some answers. It's a tough thing to deal with. This site is a good resource though. It can give you some good support and tips for a family member of someone who is declining.