My father died seven years ago. My brother is the only other relative. He is selfish.
So mom tells me all her upsets and problems. How to I separate emotionally?
My reactions are too tied into her emotions and constant problems. It effects my life.
Barbara
Well, she's going to have to get one -- with or without the walker. She's not as helpless as you might think, so try to identify which upsets and/or problems she can handle on her own. Brainstorm a couple solutions. Since she doesn't want to do senior citizen centers, bring a few seniors you're well acquainted with. They just might entice her to get out of the house every once in a while.
Helping her build a social network will help you get back to life.
I know it's so hard to try to enjoy life when there are issues with a loved one, but letting it ruin your own happiness is not productive. I think it's important to set aside the time you can devote to the talks and the contemplation and then set aside time for your enjoyment. A counselor could help you organize these times.
When things are so difficult for us to do alone, I say get professional help. It's amazing how much they can help.