She lies at the doctor's office, she's seeing things. She's talking to people who aren't there. She goes through bouts where she says and does horrible things. I'm an only child of 46 and I am unmarried and have no children. She believes that I'm sneaking people in and out of the house to make her go crazy. She doesn't understand why my cats are in the house, because she says they could be outside. I'd never let my cats out. One of my cats won't go near her anymore. I've been living with her for the last 11 years and have had cats my whole life. My doctor will not let me talk to her and she's causing us both to suffer. How about how I am coping with these things? She needs different meds, but won't do anything about it. She says I'm the one who's screwed up and not her. She throws me out of the house because she thinks I'm someone else. She can't seem to remember who I am ever and talks bad to me about myself. We were severely abused by my father. He has been dead for over 11 years. I sold my car for money to put into the house when this started and I'm not allowed to use her car anymore and she has no business driving because she refuses to learn how to use the GPS. Everything I'm saying is true, but nobody will listen to me. It's not fair that we are both suffering and no doctor will help us. She has been my doctor for 15 years and my mom's doctor for 8 years. The hallucinations are scaring me to death. I can't get help from my doctor, so I have nowhere to turn. I am completely alone. I've taken care of relatives my entire life, but I've never had to deal with delusions, hallucinations or being blamed for everything. My mom and I were best friends and now she only knows who I am sometimes. I'm trying to deal with this with no emotion so I don't let her see that she is hurting me. I realize that the only way I can deal with this is to shut my emotions off. I feel like a failure and and idiot and she's making me feel like I'm not welcome here. She can't take care of herself. I swear to God. I don't know why nobody will believe me. I need my doctor to help me and she flat out said no. So, what now. My life revolves around her and I'm fine with that if this wasn't going on too. I can't sleep or eat. I'm all cried out so I don't have to worry about her hurting me anymore, but how can I care for her when she won't let me? Can anyone help me or have suggestions for me? This is killing me to be treated like this from my mother. She refuses to face this. I told her to pick me and face it and to let her love for me be stronger than her fear. She said she'd rather be scared. I don't know where to go from here.
If you were to seek Guardianship that would change.
With a diagnosis of dementia she can no longer assign anyone the role of POA.
If the doctor is not helping you or her I think it is time to switch doctors.
And I have to ask was your mom formally diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or was the “dementia “ diagnosis just a word that was used to put a name to it? The reason I ask is that many of the things you mention can be indicators of LBD or Lewey Body Dementia. I think you should have the diagnosis of the type of dementia checked.
(side note for you..Alexian Brothers Hospital in Elk Grove has a pretty good Neurology department)
If you do, she'll get a new doctor and so should you.
does she have any friends in her life that you could speak with to see if they have noticed any changes?
Again my first thought is to video tape it. Then try to meet with her dr? 🙏🏼
Write out your mother's symptoms and send the letter, return receipt requested to the doctor.
The doctor cannot respond to you, but she needs to have this information.
Can you find a new place to live? Do you have a job?