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I'd get advice from APS. Call them, give them a factual account (dates and events, not your fears or feelings), and ask them what you should do.

I can't imagine what the doctor is thinking. It seems that he is actively obstructing appropriate intervention in his patient's best interests. No doubt there is some explanation but it's hard to guess what it could possibly be.
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She needs to assign you as her Medical Representative. This is a HIPAA form that you request at her doctor's office. She writes in your name and signs it. THEN the doc can discuss her medical issues with you without her being present. This is not the same as a HC proxy or Medical PoA. It has to be renewed every year.
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Isthisrealyreal Nov 2021
We should all have an attorney draw HIPAA releases up that state they never expire and are intented to be valid in any jurisdiction they are presented.

A DHCPOA is a legal document that the doctor should honor. It does give brother authority to get information.
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I’d call adult protective services and report the situation. And stop arguing and discussing the situation with her, she’s clearly lost the ability to make sound decisions. I’d also quietly disable the car, you don’t want her harming someone
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I am her POA and my brother is her Health Care Proxy. I’ll go to the web site and have a look and see what they say. Thank you!
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Are you listed on her HIPAA? Without that the doctor won' talk about her medical issues with you because of privacy laws. They cannot. (I'm assuming you are not her guardian here.) However, you can give information to doctor. What does her HCP say about under what circumstances it can be invoked?
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Amerimum Nov 2021
Her PCP is hopeless and won’t engage with us. It must be about privacy laws, but we are not her guardians. We assumed the HCP and POA would allow us to step in before going to that extreme. He won’t take it to the next level so we can slowly get her acquainted with the idea of a LT care facility.
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Get her a new doctor? Call elder services? Ask the VNA how to proceed? Talk to your lawyer? Work with VNA etc to make decisions together for what to do to best serve her needs. Sounds like she should not be living alone. Has the person that is named as proxy or any other family members been there to assess her? Increase her hours with VNA immediately while another solution is determined.
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Amerimum Nov 2021
She most definitely should not be living alone. We call her everyday. None of us live on the cape and are 1 + hrs away. She fires the VNA every opportunity she gets. Just telling them: “ I go to the gym 5/week” and “ I’m eating a healthy diet” (none of it true!) she yes, yes, them to death to make them go away, but they’ve been in there to see for themselves. No one should live this way. I’m the POA and my brother is the HCP. We’re working together, but she’s not cooperating and will soon stop speaking to us.
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Get her a new doctor? Call elder services? Ask the VNA how to proceed? Talk to your lawyer? Work with VNA etc to make decisions together for what to do to best serve her needs. Sounds like she should not be living alone. Has the person that is named as proxy or any other family members been there to assess her? Increase her hours with VNA immediately while another solution is determined.
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Amerimum Nov 2021
She sends the vna away or doesn’t answer the door. The VNA have been amazing with us, but there is only so much they can do. My mother tells us she doesn’t want them there (she’s been figured out) and we’ve told her we need to start making decisions together, but she won’t have any of it. She has a good long term care policy, but won’t go to visit any places with us. We can’t get her assessed because her PCP told us that she needs to make the appointment, but she’s outright refused. She had a MoKA test done and her numbers came in very low which I guess is a starting point to her dementia diagnosis. We can’t force her to a doctor. She’s doesn’t go unless the doctor office calls her for a required visit after her hospitol stay. She’s now not due to see him again until Feb for routine blood work. That could be too late with her new heart problem and lack of medicine mgt.
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Does it specifically say that she must be declared incompetent before it activates? Are you her DPOA as well as DHCPOA?

If it doesn't specifically state that, take a copy to her doctor and ask for her medical records. There will probably be a fee.

Here's the thing, a doctor doesn't have the legal right to declare her incompetent, only a judge can do that. That could be why he is not helping.

I recommend going to your state attorney general website and read what your state allows. The statutes are usually really easy to read and understand.

If she is a danger to herself, you may have to go for guardianship or report her to APS as a vulnerable senior in danger. There are other ways to get her the help she needs.

Best of luck!
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rovana Nov 2021
Could it be the doctor is refusing because of HIPAA issues?
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