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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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My elderly mom, who has dementia, asks everyday, several times a day, about who is alive and who is dead. Is this common with Alzheimers? How do you respond?
You ma not like this, but lie. Everybody is alive and well. Just at “work”, “school”, “out for a bit” whatever. They’ll be by “later on” or for the “holiday” or whatever seems appropriate for the person she’s asking about.
When you tell someone with Alz that a loved is dead and been dead for yrs, they will grieve all over again. It’ll be like they’ve first heard it. EVERYTIME. It could be numerous times per day. That’s an awful lot of undue stress to give them.
Just fib to keep the peace and keep them happy for the short time they have left.
Reading all these responses makes me curious. My mom asks about all kinds of people, living and dead right now. She even asks about her third husband which she never had! So far, I respond honestly to her and she doesn't get upset so I figure it's best to tell the truth until the truth harms her peace of mind, then I will lie. I use the opportunity to remember stories about the people she asks about, or to invite her to tell me what she remembers about the people I never knew.
It kind of sounds like to me that as dementia progresses, LOs live more and more in the world of the dead, like they ask more frequently about dead people. Is that actually the case or is that more of a difference in how dementia manifests itself differently in different people? I can see how constantly having to address the questions about dead people would be extremely wearing on caregivers.
I think a lot of elderly people, not just those with dementia, are pretty obsessed with death. My MIL did not have dementia but she had taken care of her husband who had Alzheimer's for 11 years before his death. When going through her papers after she died, I found many notebooks full of everything from what happened each day (like, today I put the garbage out, etc.) to her thoughts on political matters, to unresolved conflicts from her childhood. A recurring theme was the listing of her relatives and their dates of death. She wrote down the dates of death of all her close relatives, dozens of times. My husband's theory is that she was fearful of forgetting things like that (as her husband had forgotten things as his condition worsened).
If your mother is in the early stages of dementia, she may just be trying to keep it all straight and make sure she remembers things. I'm sure you will realize it as time goes on if she slips back into a different reality and doesn't "know" that people have passed on; or if she becomes upset at hearing that someone has died, as if it were "new news". Then it will be time for gentle redirection of the conversation or going along with her reality, if she is asking about someone as though they are still alive. There are instances of people becoming very upset every time they hear a loved one is dead, like every time is the first time hearing it. It doesn't seem to serve anyone's interest to have them in so much distress all the time.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
When you tell someone with Alz that a loved is dead and been dead for yrs, they will grieve all over again. It’ll be like they’ve first heard it. EVERYTIME. It could be numerous times per day. That’s an awful lot of undue stress to give them.
Just fib to keep the peace and keep them happy for the short time they have left.
It kind of sounds like to me that as dementia progresses, LOs live more and more in the world of the dead, like they ask more frequently about dead people. Is that actually the case or is that more of a difference in how dementia manifests itself differently in different people? I can see how constantly having to address the questions about dead people would be extremely wearing on caregivers.
If your mother is in the early stages of dementia, she may just be trying to keep it all straight and make sure she remembers things. I'm sure you will realize it as time goes on if she slips back into a different reality and doesn't "know" that people have passed on; or if she becomes upset at hearing that someone has died, as if it were "new news". Then it will be time for gentle redirection of the conversation or going along with her reality, if she is asking about someone as though they are still alive. There are instances of people becoming very upset every time they hear a loved one is dead, like every time is the first time hearing it. It doesn't seem to serve anyone's interest to have them in so much distress all the time.