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I’d feel resentful too. He didn’t bother to take care of his kids, but now expects his kids to take care of him? Really?

It sounds like you and your siblings see this situation as something you are morally obligated to do. You aren’t!
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Time for him to be placed in a home, and stop paying to support him. You call him father, but the truth is..he was just the sperm donor. As it stands, the resentment will continue unless you make some changes in your thinking.

My Best To You....
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Time for LTC where Medicaid ( called something different in CA) foots the bills. His SS and any pension will go towards his care. A Personal Needs Acct will be set up and a small amount taken out each month to help pay for haircuts, snacks, maybe some clothing. All his needs will be met. 3 meals a day. Depends if he needs them. Toiletries. His clothing is washed. He will have activities and some entertainment. You can visit 4x a year. Brother can when he wants.

If not already, his desease will progress where he shouldn't be left alone.
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PandabearAUS Dec 2019
I don’t think he has a dementia. He is just old
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