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Go to ur Social Service Office and talk to a Medicaid caseworker. She if you can get some "in home care". You will need to be low income. Some States pay for aides to come in the home, others pay family.

It sound like what u need is some time to yourself. Call your County Office of Aging and see if they can help.
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In general spouses do not get paid for caring for a spouse.
The VA in certain circumstances will now pay a spouse to care for the Veteran.
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When you enter a marriage contract, you pretty much are stuck with being a caregiver if a spouse becomes sick. What you need is some say-so over the money so that you can pay for someone to help you.
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I don't know of any spouses that get paid for taking care of their husband or wife, but in some states Medicaid will pay a family member for a few hours of caregiving each week, and if your wife was a veteran the VA offers aide and assist which can help you care for her. But that is them sending someone out to your house to assist you. I'm not sure if they would pay you to do the care. You can ask I guess.
I cared for my late husband for 24 1/2 years and never once expected or wanted to be paid for it. It never even crossed my mind. That is just what spouses do for each other. We take care of each other in the good times and bad, in sickness and health, and till death do us part.
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