My mother is having delusions that a member of our family has come into the house and taken her things. This is getting worse every day. For example, she looks in the closet and thinks all her clothes are gone. When I try to show her everything is there, she says it's not what was there before. She also sees things that aren't there. I try really hard not to try to reason with her or show my frustration, but I'm not doing it very well. How have others coped with this behavior?
I did very little arguing, explaining or correcting her. At her stage, those proved nothing. You are human..ALL of us face what you are facing. It’s very hard to find a line between being “the good daughter” and the Caregiver. It’s human nature to want to set them straight and say “No, mom. No one stole your clothes “ one thing I learned is that they will argue or give you a blank look.
If Mom is on no meds or her meds don’t seem to be working, by all means contact her doctor.
Same with the dead relative whom she believes is coming into the house and taking her stuff. Is this someone she loves? Instead of trying to convince your mom that the dead relative isn't coming into the house ask your mom what this dead relative wants and then try to appease your mom. Don't jump into the delusion with her but don't contradict her either. It's a fine line to walk, I know. But if you try to reason with someone who can't be reasoned with the only thing you'll accomplish is driving yourself up the wall and agitating your mother and we never want to agitate someone who has dementia.
I know how frustrating it is and becoming impatient is normal. Remove yourself from the situation if you can. Take a few minutes to calm down. Remind yourself that your mom isn't doing this on purpose, that her brain that isn't functioning normally and she can't help it.
Have you considered having her seen by a geriatric psychiatrist who may be able to prescribe meds that will help with her agitation?