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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
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Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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I've been here and it's sad. I'd say some of the care-related signs that it's time to move her would include: falls (with or without injury), confusion about medications or when to take them, not eating or eating too much (i.e. they are confused about whether or not they have eaten), calling 911 when nothing is wrong, leaving doors unlocked or inviting in strangers, incontinence of urine and/or stool, poor hygiene, vascular wounds or other types of long-term wounds which require care, not knowing where household bills are or whether they have been paid, etc. These are a few and each case is different. Some of these issues can be resolved with in-home caregivers, but if it's approaching the point where she can't be home alone for ANY length of time, that's important to acknowledge. Your question doesn't state if it's care reasons that you're asking about, but it could also be from the financial side and the only way to assess that would be to get a comprehensive accounting of her income and ALL monthly expenses - including credit card payments and other debts. However, compiling such a list can be difficult if elder wants to keep it secret (they often do) or if elder is no longer sure of that info.
Chapter2, in my MIL's case she was living by herself after her husband went to rehab after a fall. We discovered she wasn't remembering to eat even while we were bringing groceries, home-cooked meals, often. Not remembering to take her meds (or whether she did already take them and then took double dosages). Memory is a critical function. If their memory is going, you won't be able to even call and "check in" with her every day as she will give you an answer (any answer) because she won't really know what she did or said or where she went. We had to go and look in my MIL's fridge and garbage to see evidence that she had eaten (even after she told us she did and named items she thought she ate). In our instance, memory loss was the trigger to move her. It does not matter that your mom has lived in whatever home for how many years. Now it's about making changes that are in her best interests that are amenable to whoever is provider her care or managing it. FYI your own immediate family comes first. If your mother's current caregiving arrangement negatively impacts this, then the arrangement is not working and must change. I wish you all the best as your work this out.
Dear Chapter2, As "freqflyer" mentioned it would be helpful to know more about your situation with your mom. For me, our family moved here in 1968 and she said she wanted to stay in the house forever. When my dad died in 2004, my mom was 79. I ran back and forth from our house to hers for the next ten years until I could no longer do it. She had a 3-bedroom house, washer and dryer were on the backyard patio and there was an unfenced pool. We got her an alert system similar to "Life Alert" and hired someone to clean the pool to supplement what I was doing with it. She was still driving and would get lost, she did go missing one night so that involved the police, she fell off a short step stool in the backyard while trimming a tree and had to crawl to get to a phone to call me (she fractured her wrist trying to break her fall) and her checkbook wasn't getting balanced so I took her to the doctor. Once she had a brain scan through her primary doctor, we saw a Neurologist when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I simply couldn't handle worrying constantly, calling her every single day sometimes multiple times to make sure she was home and ok, she ran a red light with one of her friends in the car, got a speeding ticket which my husband found at her house while having dinner just to name a few things that became red flags. There were just too many things that could have gone wrong. One of her sisters who lived in another state had her go up there for two months while I started to go through some of her things but I barely scratched the surface as both my parents had so much stuff (they lived through the Great Depression so they kept everything). Upon her return, I took the car away and two months later moved her into an AL facility. I then had to clear out her house and sell it in order to pay her rent. Currently, she is 95 and living in a new facility in the memory care wing. She has a one bedroom apartment with a window so we can "window visit" as the lockdown continues due to the pandemic. In short, if they can no longer care for themselves without assistance and hiring in-home health care isn't frequent enough, I'd say that's a good sign to start looking for a place to move your mom.
Chapter 2, we need more information. What are your Mom's health issues? Is she a fall risk? Does she have memory issues? Is she unable to care for herself? Where would Mom be living if she moved?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
As "freqflyer" mentioned it would be helpful to know more about your situation with your mom.
For me, our family moved here in 1968 and she said she wanted to stay in the house forever. When my dad died in 2004, my mom was 79. I ran back and forth from our house to hers for the next ten years until I could no longer do it. She had a 3-bedroom house, washer and dryer were on the backyard patio and there was an unfenced pool. We got her an alert system similar to "Life Alert" and hired someone to clean the pool to supplement what I was doing with it. She was still driving and would get lost, she did go missing one night so that involved the police, she fell off a short step stool in the backyard while trimming a tree and had to crawl to get to a phone to call me (she fractured her wrist trying to break her fall) and her checkbook wasn't getting balanced so I took her to the doctor. Once she had a brain scan through her primary doctor, we saw a Neurologist when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I simply couldn't handle worrying constantly, calling her every single day sometimes multiple times to make sure she was home and ok, she ran a red light with one of her friends in the car, got a speeding ticket which my husband found at her house while having dinner just to name a few things that became red flags. There were just too many things that could have gone wrong. One of her sisters who lived in another state had her go up there for two months while I started to go through some of her things but I barely scratched the surface as both my parents had so much stuff (they lived through the Great Depression so they kept everything). Upon her return, I took the car away and two months later moved her into an AL facility. I then had to clear out her house and sell it in order to pay her rent.
Currently, she is 95 and living in a new facility in the memory care wing. She has a one bedroom apartment with a window so we can "window visit" as the lockdown continues due to the pandemic.
In short, if they can no longer care for themselves without assistance and hiring in-home health care isn't frequent enough, I'd say that's a good sign to start looking for a place to move your mom.