As some of you know I'm at the very beginning of this journey. Hoping to get my mother's "memory issues" evaluated by her neurologist in a couple weeks if all goes well. It's been getting worse in the last couple of months. It's not just forgetting things, but conflating memories from different time periods. Lapses in judgment and logic but she won't accept input or correction from anyone because she's always been so arrogant - believing no one can ever tell her anything. So now as her mind begins to fail and interacts with her existing personality issues, it is a toxic brew. I begin to feel this grief realizing her mind is beginning to break down and it will continue to do so bit by bit till she's all gone and it will be hell for all of us for how long, years? How do I face this? How do all of you who've been / are there?
Don't correct your mother if you can possibly ignore the mistake. I remember my aunt "correcting" her bedridden, blind 103 y o aunt about what month it was. What difference does it make if she doesn't know the month?
I do my best to correct my husband only 47 times a day instead of 147 times. It's a struggle for me to keep my mouth shut, but I'm getting better.
I've only been here a few weeks. At first, I found it very depressing to think about how awful my future would be, based on the experiences I was reading about. After a while, I started to feel that this is just one more example of life giving us more than we can handle, and then we handle it anyway. Not to claim that I too will not post suicidal rants in the future, but I'm calmer, because what is going to happen is going to happen, and I can't change that. I just have to roll with it when I can, and freak out when I can't.
Don't pay any attention to me, though. My husband can still drive and find his way home and wash the dishes. I have not yet begun to suffer.
Remember YOU are the most important person in this. I was forgetting that in the heat of the mess this horrid illness made of our lives. I was not taking care of myself. I became very ill. I'm better now and able to eat again. Was down to 90 pounds from losing my Daddy and then this with my Mom.
I know I'm early in the process compared to all of you dealing with full on dementia in your parents. Guess I'm just scared of the road ahead.