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Call the psychiatrist right away. Get an eldercare attorney. POA works only if your husband was of sound since dementia invalidates documents.
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My attorney drafted a POA for all medical decisions and another one for all financial matters as soon as my sister moved in with us, when she was exhibiting signs of Alzheimers but could "pass" as lucid enough to sign the documents. As others have said, the more compromised your loved one, the greater the chance that the POA can be challenged. I used the POA for many matters while my sister was both alive and after she passed away. I urge everyone to get a POA for your loved ones ASAP. It doesn't mean that you have to USE it; just that you have it if/when you need it. It also puts to rest the issue of who has the ultimate decision-making authority in the family.
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I was told by an attorney if they have are lucid and can tell the you what is going on for that short time get the paperwork in order to get it signed. But if they can't there is nothing that you can do, I know this because with my BIL we didn't get that POA paperwork signed and right now I am on every financial bank acct he has so I can withdraw out money for his place in a nursing home in memory care. I pulled out all of his IRA CD's to pay for the nursing home until we get him back on Medicaid. I also learned that his pension along with his social security will be paid to that nursing home for his room. All I will get to pay the bills is $50 and that won't pay them all. So Medicaid allows you to have $2000 on hand that is all he can have well that money won't last forever so I know now the family will have to step up to help him out. He likes his diet pepsi and snacks. Also has a cell phone and a room phone after 6 months won't have the cell phone unless some family member wants him to have it. His room phone is at least $42 and his life ins is $11. And my BIL has pride still he likes paying for his own stuff when he is away from the nursing home now he can't get into any of his accts. And the other family members don't understand so I will be turned in again to DHS for mishandling of his money. I was turned in before for not letting them get to his medical and another time for letting him go places out of his apartment. Both times it was unfounded but the family likes turning me in.
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Be aware a POA ends when the party dies. You won't be able to use their bank accounts. You need to get an Executive order putting you in charge when they pass, or ensure you are 'on' their accounts.
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From Baltimore again. Question is how long does the Person retain all of his legal rights. There is no loss of legal rights here in Maryland by the appointment of a POA mainly because this process does not go through the Court System. Loss of one's legal rights can occur, as an example, through the Court process for Guardianship of the estate which entails no loss of one's right to handle his own Personal affairs. Or the Court could award a Guardian of the Person with no loss of the person's right to handle his own estate. Plenary Guardianship is where the Person is at risk of loss of all of his legal rights. The guiding principle should be the question as to what is the least restrictive process to use which allows the Person to exercise participation is as much of the decision making process as possible for him or her.
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So my husband's sister got a POA for their mother without telling anyone and she refuses to show us the document or when it was signed. She lived with us for 4 years before being placed in memory care. We took car eof her medically, financially and emotionally. Now we have no say on anything. I don't think she was lucid enough to sign the POA and the only recourse we would have is to get a lawyer. Is there a way to request a copy of the POA without a lawyer?? The Nursing home cannot share it.
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Geaton777 Nov 2022
I asked my own elder law attorney this questiion and he said to engage a CELA (certified elder law attorney) for the state in which your mom resides and they will start by writing a letter saying that if the PoA paperwork is not disclosed to interested parties then it will be pursued in court to force them to show it. The hope is that the threat alone will get them to show it.
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I will just point out one very bad experience to avoid:

Someone needs a POA or Guardianship. They have dementia or Alzheimer's. You are told by attorneys, I didn't say all, that because they have this mental condition, they cannot assist you with it, that you waited too long.

However, the truth is you can obtain in many states a durable power of attorney even though the person has AD. It can be crushing to find this out too late. Quite often the person has many lucid moments and always remembers you in their past and so forth. You will find this in law books, if you cannot get a lawyer to state it. I recommend you keep looking till you find a lawyer who will help you get a Durable POA. I'm assuming you would be qualified for it under the law.

I was a caregiver for 25 years. It's horrible to see people try to assign 100% mental disability to somebody who can recognize you, talk about all her siblings, mom and dad, grandparents, her favorite songs. We need more good lawyers out there willing to fight for what is right and fear about it be damned.

It's time to stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves. NOW!
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