If you are not sure what I'm talking about google it. Basically empaths are people who feel things very deeply, pick up on negative energy 5 min. after entering a room, get physically ill when confronted with nasty, angry people, usually love animals, are nurturers etc., etc. I suspect there are a lot of you out there cause you probably would not be care givers if you weren't. I'm interested in how you cope with this, get through life unscathed, handle your relationships. Please share.
When I read your question, the first words out of my mouth were "My instincts of self-preservation are too strong. No way I could be so masochistic as to take on someone else's baggage."
The reason for this kind of thinking is that although I do have a lot of the characteristics of an empath (e.g., picking up negative energy instantly and seeing right through people), I'm yet to learn how to effectively cope or block out a lot of the toxic energy around me. In a nutshell, how to protect myself that will compromise my personal balance.
Your question was a wake up call. Thanks for asking it.
I'm very shy inside. Outwardly I'm friendly, but inside I am pulled back. That may be true of a lot of overly sensitive people. It may be the result of growing up in a cruel dysfunctional environment. Gotta keep yourself tucked inside your fort.
I've wondered for a long time how other people don't sense things the way I do. Some of my best friends ask my opinion about matters and tell me they are confident that I likely have picked up on hidden feelings and intentions and what I think about them, because, I'm usually right.
I now see it as normal. I think it affords me the opportunity to do a lot for others though. To whom much is given, much is required. That's how I see it.
Sometimes, you can help from behind the scenes. No one even has to know about it. What is that saying? True character is the way you behave when no one is watching.....
I can sniff out an addict, user, abuser, pervert, scammer or con-artist long before "everyone else" figures it out. Because of this, my insights are unpopular with the Pollyannas, sheeple and otherwise unrealistic people in my life.
My "gift" cuts both ways. I'm also tuned-in to genuine, caring souls who make our world a better place. Unfortunately, they are outnumbered.
I struggle when she's in pain too because I feel her. I just want her pain to stop so I can stop feeling it sometimes which makes me in some ways a better caregiver as I'm more demanding for her needs. I make sure she keeps up with her pain shots and gets physical therapy when she needs it and keeps on her Tylenol daily so that I can get a break from her pain.
I actually had someone ask me once if I thought I was an empath. Me being curious, after denying it of course, went and googled the word and saw so many people who describe the same things I go through. I talk to animals. I will sit and have conversations with them and can tell sometimes what they are thinking. I relate to them. I do the same with kids hence why my job before I had to quit it to care for my grandma, was with kids. I just knew what they needed. Babies would cry and I knew whether they were bored, wanting a certain person or were hungry. When a toddler talks to me it's in English even when it's not and instead in baby talk. I have the same connection with my grandma. I can sense when she needs something. It comes in handy but sometimes it's overwhelming. I feel smothered and controlled since she knows that I know what she needs and that she can manipulate me that way.
It's a hard battle and I wish I could build a better wall but so far the only time I have pulled it off ended with me completely turned off from emotions and caring for my grandma and my sister's two kids. I can't afford to do that. I'm needed too much. So far now I'll escape for minutes when I can.
I was always the one who took the extra time with the disabled, when my friends just walked away feeling nothing. My first job was working with the United Cerebral Palsy, and I stayed for 3 years as a teenager.
I have a sister who is an extreme Empath, a she feels others pain and discomfort to the point of crying, it's sometimes difficult to be in a public place with her, as she seems to pick up on others plights too much, and it stops us from getting to where we were going.
My own Mom, felt she could hear and communicate with my deceased father, while she herself was dying, and on Hospice, I believed her, while others were skeptical, but the fact that she believed it, gave her much comfort.
Like others have mentioned, I can suss out, an alcoholic or drug abuser, a wife beater, child abuser, animal abuser and even people who are trying to fleece an elderly person, or other criminals, just being near them, and it makes me wish I were more outspoken at times, but then we do need to think of our own safety too! I definitely do stand up, when I actually see an illegal event taking place, and get the attention of the proper authorities, but I don't outright confront someone who I suspect is an ugly person inside.
There is definitely a fine line that we have to respect, or we put ourselves in a position of being in danger or a doormat, and while I can think of instances where I've certainly been taken advantage of, I do try to stand up for myself and others who cannot.
Just the other day, a disabled person in a wheelchair accidently got off of the wrong bus, on her way home to the group home that she lives in, and she ended up in my driveway, of course! Lol! She was unable to speak verbally, and actually did have Cerebral Palsy, and me having had some experience with this, was able to find her home number, and called for the group home to come and pick her up. Interestingly enough, she had been on her way home from the local COMMUNITY COLLEGE, and she was there, getting her college credits transfered, so that she could begin the new school year. Now how many people, would stand there in the rain, offer coverage and a blanket and drink, and learn so much about another person who had severe communication disabilities, and yet enjoy visiting with each other in our own special way, and be able to learn that she in fact, is married, has a degree, and is working on another, is extremely bright and funny, and yet couldn't utter a single word. It actually was an in lightening experience for me! She ultimately was licked up, and the driver was quite impressed! Lol!
While being an Empath has its own challenges, I much prefer to be one, than be a cold and uncaring person, as the world has plenty of them!
See All Answers