Well... I was considering having children until I started caring for my father because I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I was a "late baby" (my brother who committed suicide was even younger... 10 years), so my father was 47 when I was born. I'm absolutely TERRIFIED to reproduce at the age of 38 now for the fear that I will get sick and have kids that resent caring for me.
Then I think I wouldn't be a good mother because I get so frustrated with my father when he doesn't sleep (babies keep you up at night as well), or I snap at him for ...whatever.
Finally, I think about putting a contingency plan together for aging. The short time I had Dad at the Independent Living (IL) facility, I would listen to the elderly parents that put THEMSELVES in the facility so their children could enjoy their freedom--so they wouldn't be a burden to their children. I admit I was a bit jealous. Why can't my Dad do that?
Then I have "angry compassion_ so to speak. Isn't it interesting that if an animal gets to the point where they can't function, they're put down, yet humans can literally suffer for YEARS (patient and caregiver) existing as a fraction of the person they once were.
I get it... it must be horrible to exist without being unable to hear well, see well, move around, remember anything, and be in pain most of the time, but should the caregivers suffer?
NOTE: I'm not advocating euthanizing humans... just making an observation.
...and to top it off, I want to SCREAM the truth at by standers that "commend" me for taking care of Dad. There's nothing commendable about it. I detest it most of the time and feel guilty for feeling that way every day.
....random venting I guess
I am much more cynical now.
Donald talking to sheep, get it?
"You have a dnr, your wife is screaming 'save my husband!', and if the patient could answer, the paramedics are there, because???!!!!
Serious situations require serious humor, put in a way that serious circumstances can be planned for ahead of time. I appreciate your humor, Gershen.
No, really, on a more serious note, don't you think a perfect husband should be married to a perfect wife, or does that just not happen?
Love joking around with all of you! Think now that I am in over my head and regret playing with Windy, cause there will be hell to pay, he'll have a really great snappy comeback, and I already feel guilty for asking my husband for help, now that I just cannot do it all myself.
As a wife, I never used behavior modification because I found that asking a man to do anything he doesn't want to do results in a really messed up job with broken things and other damages. Men are really smart too.
I wonder if your wife can adapt it to elders.
Come to think of it, I'd like a Neighbor Compliance Drug as well.
But you're right - caregiving makes you appreciate the small, every day things.
Wait! What is this thread anyway? Ok... Had to scroll up to look.
Caregiving has changed my life by appreciating times like this when for a few moments, I'm not thinking about caregiving. But now I'm worried about moms cardio test......One more beer won't hurt.
I guess that will be next on the list of questions paramedics ask. I can see it all now. "Are you comfortably fending for yourself without being a burden to others?"
Sorry I shouldn't joke about this. Humor is what gets me through life.
Each of our FILE OF LIFE (written in red), reads: " I W A N T T O L I V E !!! "
But then, it's too soon to tell.
For me, that would be a very relaxed way to go. I could put together a whole movie of my life of times when I remember getting a massage at various places and in different styles with the closing one being a massage style that I've discovered rather recently. And it is like they say to die for.
The Ashiatsu Oriental Bar Therapy puts the Swedish Deep Tissue Massage Therapy style to shame.
I would write the closing scene with my getting such a massage and at that point where you usually reach the deepest feeling of relaxation; all of the warmth of your body goes to your core before feeling new warmth spreading throughout your body and in that deep serene state just passing away. Now that would be something.
Sounds like a movie in which Hercule Poirot or Jessica Fletcher could star.
There was a cooking show by that name - the chef was Marcel de Saulnier and the desserts he created were out of this world.