My mother is 92 years old. It seems all of a sudden she started to decline. She eats very little and drinks very little. She says she is tired all the time. After a couple of bits or a few sips of something she says she is full and doesn't want anymore. She is bed bound.
We mainly get her to drink hot cocoa. Once in a while she will sip a couple of spoonful's of broth and maybe a bite or two of melted ice cream. She drinks very little water.
I've read posts from others talking about this situation, but have not seen many answers from those of you who have experienced this. I'd like to know how long it took for your loved one to pass after they stopped eating. One hospice nurse told me some elderly folks can go on forever like this. Doesn't seem like they would be able to.
If you want to know the basic signs of “transitioning” - that’s what the hospice folk call the beginnings of the body shutting down when death is near - or nearish- try googling “signs of death” and talk to your hospice nurse. There are changes in breathing, oxygen levels and eye appearance as well as the blotching.
Not all the signs appear in everyone.
Still - for me at least, I found it comforting and reassuring to know what to expect as my mother began her journey.
I hope this will be a more comforting way to look at it. The body starts to wind down and stops wanting food. It's that way round, rather than that your mother isn't getting enough nourishment to keep her going.
I appreciate that having no idea of how long this phase will go on is a whole little extra torment on its own. I wish there were any way to know, but there just isn't. You can, if it helps to scratch the itch, find out her Base Metabolic Requirement which will tell you how many calories she burns each day ticking over, but I'm not sure it's the right thing to focus on.
Her enjoying her cocoa and ice cream and broth is much more important. If she is comfortable and wants for nothing, you are getting this right.
Mom spent the vast majority of her time sleeping and as such - expending very little energy - her hospice doctor said she could exist like that for months. Which she did.
Its very difficult to see this kind of slow, slow wasting away - them disappearing before your eyes. But, at least in my moms case - she didn’t seem to be in any pain and really - not even uncomfortable. Still, it was quite a disturbing shock to see “malnutrition” listed first as “cause of death” on her death certificate.
Best wishes to you during this difficult time.
and very tired. Tired of being there in bed unable to do anything. I feel so
bad for her. I wish there was something more I could do for her.
She is obviously headed down hill, I am sorry you are loosing your mom. May she go peacefully and may God grant you grieving mercies and strength through this time.
Hugs!