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yes, thank you all for responding, definitely not my choice Mom retains faculties, just less and less function. She has since hired 2 workers, 1 has previous elder care exp. the other is more a home cleanliness and general helper, I feel Mom is in good hands for the interim, long term we're going to need other help, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Amazing how quickly things can change when vital health is at stake. Oh yes, clarification, 78 not 88 never had any other serious illness her whole life. Amazing when you think of it
JoAnn, the OP may not have made the decision to "put" her mother through the operation. Her post below strongly suggests to me that her RN sister is in a decision making role, and OP is trying to cooperate for the best post-op results available.
It's not clear whether the OP had any role in the decision at all.
I did get the sense that OP might not be all for it. Thats why I asked about Dementia. My RN daughter has worked over 20 yrs in rehab/LTC units. Even a short time as an Administrator in an AL facility. I am pretty sure what she would say in this scenario. Just wondering how much input the mother has.
I just have to ask...why are you putting an 88 year old woman thru this? What is her survival rate and with her already problems, how will she heal? Your sister is an RN and she recommends this? Does Mom really want to do this?
My Mom was 80 when they found bladder cancer and cured. She came to live with me at age 86 with Dementia and she was still being scoped for the cancer after over 5 yrs.. My daughter is an RN she agreed with me, no more scoping. If she got cancer again, we would not do anything. The operation alone would cause a big decline. Plus, going to the hospital, new faces, then spending days in the hospital and then rehab. She would be so confused.
My sister had a mastectomy at age 42. She too was heavy but had no problem doing for herself. She had to go the chemo route because the cancer was aggressive. 8 months of chemo. She received it every 3 weeks and was sick the whole week after. Can your Mom tolerate something like this. I know, we want to do everything we can so we don't have to say to ourselves "did we do enough". But, is it really worth putting Mom thru this.
I would think with Moms age and size, she would go to rehab and I would push for that. Medicare will pay 100% the first 20 days, 21 to 100 days 50 %. Her supplimental may pick up some. But usually its about $160 a day. If Mom doesn't have the money, medicaid could be applied for.
There also homecare which may get set up out of rehab or discharged from the hospital. You get a nurse and an aide to help with bathing. Its not 24/7 though. Make everyone aware that you will need somekind of help. Get the help you can. As an RN I don't see where ur sister thinks you can do the caregiving of a woman who can't do on her own.
I worked as a secretary for a Visiting Nurse Assoc. I received numerous calls from people panicking because they had no idea what was going to happen after a hospital stay. I would tell them that the discharge person will take them thru there options. Rehab, homecare. Most of the time there was some homecare involved. If not, thats where my nurses came in. They would do, under a doctors order, what Medicare and insurances didn't pay for. We were non-profit.
Call your Moms oncologists office. Ask if there is someone who can walk you thru what kind of care Mom will be getting or will need. What is actually involved. And, get all the help u can afford.
My mom had a mastectomy at age 81 for breast cancer. She was sent home with visiting nurses. There is really not much to do except empty the Jackson/Pratt wound drain, make sure the dressing is clean and monitor for s/s of infection, and hydration. I don’t think you will need a lift if you hadn’t been using one before. But from your description perhaps obtaining a lift is s good idea going forward. I was a home care RN and we were given only 2 post mastectomy visits (paid for by insurance). There aren’t many skilled nursing needs.
yeah my sister is an RN and of course there is a component of she being competent to carry these things out so sis thinks I should be able to suss out the rest, she lives 8-10 hrs car ride, $400 sum dollar flight away , she'll be here as much as possible, 6 of 17 days. We'll know more after that but I'm anticipating being thrust into a role I'm poorly prepared for. Sis talks about shifting a 240 lb person like we all could move our largest relatives. I'm not so sure.
it is for my aging mother whom I couldn't lift at all if she becomes inambulatory(is that the word?) It is difficult to fathom the care necessary and I'm being cautious. I'm afraid she will not be able to hold weight on her legs at all as it is a 20% operation now. She can barely get from the bed to her chair to the toilet to the car now. If we cut out 2 of the 3 and just make it bed to toilet that would work great. I'm seriously shopping for hoyer lifts and their associated solutions Mastectomy, lymph node removal, complicated by obesity and increasing independence lol on the independence part, what a handful. Bedside commode will be the way forward if it gets bad. Thank you for an ear
Ask if there is any anticipation of needing wound care done. if so, try to have Dr’s office or outpatient staff go over what may be involved in the type of wound care needed. Pause to think if you can do it OR if you will need to get it done. There’s a whole cottage industry for wound care - whether they come to you in your home or you go to out patient clinic. It’s covered post surgery care for most insurance policies. But you do need to keep in mind it will take an hr or so out of your day once or even twice a day. So if your caring for an elder, it may be hard to manage both. I so agree with Tothill that if it’s you and you care for mom, that it would be best if she can go to respite care for a couple of weeks while you heal & have more energy.
lymph removal can have issues which I think tend to get glossed over. My hubs had melanoma surgery with lymph removal. Needed daily wound care & pressure wrap. I could do it, but on his own it would be too awkward for him to do.
What degree of aftercare for the patient is the surgeon suggesting?
If you are having the surgery, I would suggest arranging for respite care for Mum. This will allow you to heal and get plenty of rest.
If Mum is having the surgery, I would suggest rehab for the first few weeks post op. She may or may not develop edema in her arm and may need more post op care than you can handle. While there she can receive PT to help with transferring and get used to a lift if that is in her future at home.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
never had any other serious illness her whole life. Amazing when you think of it
It's not clear whether the OP had any role in the decision at all.
I just have to ask...why are you putting an 88 year old woman thru this? What is her survival rate and with her already problems, how will she heal? Your sister is an RN and she recommends this? Does Mom really want to do this?
My Mom was 80 when they found bladder cancer and cured. She came to live with me at age 86 with Dementia and she was still being scoped for the cancer after over 5 yrs.. My daughter is an RN she agreed with me, no more scoping. If she got cancer again, we would not do anything. The operation alone would cause a big decline. Plus, going to the hospital, new faces, then spending days in the hospital and then rehab. She would be so confused.
My sister had a mastectomy at age 42. She too was heavy but had no problem doing for herself. She had to go the chemo route because the cancer was aggressive. 8 months of chemo. She received it every 3 weeks and was sick the whole week after. Can your Mom tolerate something like this. I know, we want to do everything we can so we don't have to say to ourselves "did we do enough". But, is it really worth putting Mom thru this.
I would think with Moms age and size, she would go to rehab and I would push for that. Medicare will pay 100% the first 20 days, 21 to 100 days 50 %. Her supplimental may pick up some. But usually its about $160 a day. If Mom doesn't have the money, medicaid could be applied for.
There also homecare which may get set up out of rehab or discharged from the hospital. You get a nurse and an aide to help with bathing. Its not 24/7 though. Make everyone aware that you will need somekind of help.
Get the help you can. As an RN I don't see where ur sister thinks you can do the caregiving of a woman who can't do on her own.
I worked as a secretary for a Visiting Nurse Assoc. I received numerous calls from people panicking because they had no idea what was going to happen after a hospital stay. I would tell them that the discharge person will take them thru there options. Rehab, homecare. Most of the time there was some homecare involved. If not, thats where my nurses came in. They would do, under a doctors order, what Medicare and insurances didn't pay for. We were non-profit.
Call your Moms oncologists office. Ask if there is someone who can walk you thru what kind of care Mom will be getting or will need. What is actually involved. And, get all the help u can afford.
There is really not much to do except empty the Jackson/Pratt wound drain, make sure the dressing is clean and monitor for s/s of infection, and hydration.
I don’t think you will need a lift if you hadn’t been using one before. But from your description perhaps obtaining a lift is s good idea going forward.
I was a home care RN and we were given only 2 post mastectomy visits (paid for by insurance). There aren’t many skilled nursing needs.
Mastectomy, lymph node removal, complicated by obesity and increasing independence lol on the independence part, what a handful.
Bedside commode will be the way forward if it gets bad. Thank you for an ear
if so, try to have Dr’s office or outpatient staff go over what may be involved in the type of wound care needed. Pause to think if you can do it OR if you will need to get it done. There’s a whole cottage industry for wound care - whether they come to you in your home or you go to out patient clinic. It’s covered post surgery care for most insurance policies. But you do need to keep in mind it will take an hr or so out of your day once or even twice a day. So if your caring for an elder, it may be hard to manage both. I so agree with Tothill that if it’s you and you care for mom, that it would be best if she can go to respite care for a couple of weeks while you heal & have more energy.
lymph removal can have issues which I think tend to get glossed over. My hubs had melanoma surgery with lymph removal. Needed daily wound care & pressure wrap. I could do it, but on his own it would be too awkward for him to do.
What degree of aftercare for the patient is the surgeon suggesting?
If you are having the surgery, I would suggest arranging for respite care for Mum. This will allow you to heal and get plenty of rest.
If Mum is having the surgery, I would suggest rehab for the first few weeks post op. She may or may not develop edema in her arm and may need more post op care than you can handle. While there she can receive PT to help with transferring and get used to a lift if that is in her future at home.