My mother can no longer live on her own and just moved in with m and she and I are trying to calculate how much she should pay me each month. Neither she nor I are rich. Neither she nor I are destitute. Because of this, she and I both agree that we don't need to worry about trying to save her money, that we shouldn't burden my household, and that it doesn't have to be exact.
My brother suggested she pay me her entire social security check, each month, which is her entire income (she does have money saved, so she can buy clothes and take care of her extras, which are minimal, and her Medicare and supplemental insurance take care of probably 99.9% of her medical expenses, as it's pretty rare that she is charged an extra $10 to try a new med or something like that). She agreed to this suggestion of giving me her monthly social security check. But I'm not sure this is fair. Is it too much?
It's really room and board, not just rent. I'll by the groceries, cook the food, manage her bank accounts, do a lot for her. She will probably take on light chores to participate in the household and "chip in." Her mobility is not the greatest and her memory is going, but she's able to get around and do a lot of things, like dressing herself, setting the table, light dusting, those sorts of things.
In a recent discussion about rent, I saw that someone suggested charging based on the number of people in the house and charging the parent as one portion of all the people in the household. Then, add the mortgage, property taxes and utilities, divide by the number of people in the house, and charge that. Actually, she can't afford that. That would be way more than her social security check, because my property taxes are enormous. If I charge her more than her social security check, we will run through her savings and she won't have the ability to buy anything on her own. I'm just not going to do that because that little bit of money is her independence and I'm unwilling to take that away from her.
Also, she and I are getting a bit lazy and just want to come up with something. Everyone points-out that the amount of work having her here adds to my household is priceless and that taking the amount of her social security is fair. I don't care about charging her for my time but I don't want to penalize my household for my extra time taken to tend to her.
Anyway, I'm hoping if I "talk this out" with all of you that it will help her and me think through it and that maybe someone will come up with some suggestions for us.
Here's another reason: Mom had it in her head that I deserved her entire check and didn't want to let go of that idea. Until I explaining about the gifting problem and, now that she has a good reason to go along with some other plan, she's happy. In the end, both she and I want to be as fair as we can about this, just both tend to try to be a little too generous to the other one, for the most part.
For the amount to charge, personally I would have a hard time taking their entire Social Sec check. Maybe do a search of what the average price of a room & board is in your area? Maybe there is a local college which has room & board prices posted. Just thinking if you can document what r & b actually costs in your area, the future possibility of the Medicaid office claiming you were "gifted" that amount, is contestable if you can prove that other people in the area pay X amount for R&B.
But the other duties you do for your mom, that is difficult to quantify.
I don't think an attorney is going to be able to come up with a better answer for you---PERHAPS you should be pro-active and talk with your local Medicaid office right now, and make sure you document your communications with them, so that they know, you are trying at the outset to comply with **their** requirements.
The point is to avoid having them come back at you and claim you were gifted with the money, if you can prove you asked **them** in advance, you're better off. (Speaking as someone whose grandparent was in Medicaid nursing home, and they seized the family home to pay off the Medicaid bills).
My husband and I cannot afford to give up our full-time jobs and not remotely close to retirement so we realize we might have to eventually find her some place else if her care needs become too great.
Medicaid requires a 5 year look back and the $$ she paid you for rent, could be viewed as "gifting" and mom will be penalized for doing this. Medicaid tends to view all caregiving as done for free and out of familial duty without compensation unless there are legal documents in place. You need to have a rental or caregiving contract all set up that will pass a Medicaid review which the elder law can do that works for how your state does Medicaid. Good luck.
And, as to the other answers, I appreciate the suggestion that her savings might be needed for other things. I was thinking if my spouse and I leave her alone, we might want her to pay for a caregiver when we're gone. Or, even though Medicare and her supplemental say they pay for home nursing, I'm not sure how many hours of home nursing are covered (as an example in the event that she needs it, not that she actually does need it, now), so I'm hoping to help her save that bit of savings for that, as well.