I'd be grateful for any advice. Mom has two types of cancer each with a poor prognosis though a timeframe has never been given (she has asked, believe me!). She has declined quite rapidly over the last week or two and is being treated for infections in hospital. She is still mentally alert though forgetful. I don't think she has processed how ill she is as yet. My dad died two years ago. Doctors have asked to meet with the family in the next couple of days and the nurse organizing it said it's up to my sister and I whether mom comes along. I don't anticipate there being any kind of good news at this meeting. So, should mom come along? My initial thoughts are of course as it's about her, but then I see her talking about maybe getting better, going on vacation etc. and I wonder if it's something my sister and I should do alone.
We have no idea what's going on other than that it's bad. She is very put together with her admin etc so for the most part her affairs would be in order.
Early on I kept the lung cancer diagnosis from her for a week and that nearly broke my heart. Now that she's been told how sick she is she talks about dying, but then in the next breath talks about going on a holiday this Summer. I want her to be comfortable and as happy as she can be for however long she has left.
When she asks about a time frame can you deflect and say something like -- no one knows Mom but it is always good to be prepared. Do you want to make any updates to your Will? POA? Health care proxy? What are your wishes? You and your sister could go to the meeting without Mom and then decide what to communicate. but without more info, I'm not really confident that I should weigh in. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best.