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He seems to think that since our mother has no money to speak of and no real assets, she can be placed pretty simply. He tells me that the facility will just take her monthly social security check, and the government will pay the rest. I find that really hard to believe. It has to be more involved than that. Any advice or information that anyone could provide would be very helpful!!! Thanks!!!

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Thank you all for your thoughtful responses. I have found this web site to be so helpful, for a number of reasons. But mostly because I see that there are so many people dealing with the same issues I am dealing with daily. I find real comfort in being able to read how other people are coping with the unbelievable stress that comes with being a caregiver.
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Mike6320, it is a lot more involved than that. First she has to come up with a list of what she owns, like a house, car, boat etc. Second she has to come up with 5 years of financial records to prove she never gave anything away. Third, her MD has to document her need for care. If she can dress herself, bathe herself, cook a meal and walks around independently, she is probably NOT ready for a nursing home.
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P.S. I had heard all kinds of horror stories about the 5 year look-back period Medicaid requires but my dad was never required to provide information of this type. Or maybe Medicaid did actually look back and I never knew about it but it was never a stumbling block for us.
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You're right, it is a little more involved than what your brother thinks and JessieBelle mentioned the speed bump: Medicaid. You or your brother will have to go to the Medicaid office, wait quite a while to see a caseworker, and then the caseworker will go over an application process with you. If you've already found a suitable nursing home and plan to move your mom into there the social worker at the facility may be able to give you some assistance with the application process. It's lengthy and requires documents you probably don't know even exist. For instance, when I applied for Medicaid on behalf of my dad Medicaid required his service discharge papers....from the 1950's. Boy, did I have to do some digging to come up with those!

And as I mentioned before, the process of applying for Medicaid is lengthy however you may be able to have your mom placed in a facility while she's going through the Medicaid process. I did this with my dad. I had to keep the social worker at the facility up to date on my progress with Medicaid in order for my dad to stay there during the application process but my dad was already in a facility when the topic of Medicaid came up. My dad had gone from the hospital to rehab and it was while he was in rehab that we were informed that my dad wasn't in any kind of shape to go home. At this point Medicare was still footing the bill and the social worker gave me an informational booklet on Medicaid that was very helpful.

I guess my point is that my dad was already established in the facility when we began the Medicaid process. You may have to pick a facility for your mom and get with the social worker before your mom moves in and see if you can admit your mom while you apply for Medicaid on her behalf.

It took my dad about 6 months to be approved for Medicaid. He had already died by the time we got his approval but Medicaid did back pay the facility on my dad's behalf even though my dad was dead so the nursing home got their money in the end.

I'm sure there is something online about the Medicaid process and the documents you'll need in order to apply. I don't know the website but if your Google "Medicaid" I'm sure the website will pop up and will probably have some kind of menu which will include what you need to apply. Good luck!
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Mike, she would have to qualify for Medicaid first. You would need to start the application before she is admitted to a nursing facility. If the facility thinks that she will qualify and has a Medicaid bed available, the facility can choose to admit her Medicaid-pending.

No, it isn't easy. The Medicaid application from what I've heard requires financial records going back 5 years. I've never filled out an application, so don't have first-hand knowledge, but I've heard it is quite a bit of work.
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