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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I will assume your spouse has passed, if so sorry for your loss.
Your profile says wife was 84. So I assume you are about the same age. If so, at your age, you do what makes you happy. We never know what tomorrow will bring so do what you want today.
This is not a new topic and we have had different responses. The one that I remember is the woman whose husband was in a NH with a Dementia. She had cared for him till she couldn't anymore. The man in the home was not the man she married. He didn't recognise her or family anymore. He just sat living in the world his mind made up. He was not "there" anymore. She wanted to know if it was OK to date. She was so lonely. We told her yes.
I think it boils down to when it is you feel comfortable to do so. There is no time frame, as grief is such a personal journey that those of us that have lost a spouse must take, and no two journeys are the same. You'll know when you're ready, just don't force anything. Life is short and life is precious as you all too well know, so you have to do what is best for you. Don't worry about what other people say, as unless they have walked in your shoes, they have absolutely no right to say anything. Wishing you the very best.
My father was a wonderful and committed husband to my mom, in sickness and in health as the vow says. We, his adult children told him very soon after her funeral how much we appreciated his faithfulness and that he should be happy to see anyone he wished. He dated a bit, became a huge flirt, and everyone was happy for him. I hope you’ll do likewise
You've completed your commitment to your wife and have honored your vows. You're free to speak to whoever you want, and even to establish new relationships if you choose. That, in no means, implies that you don't cherish the life you had. That, in no means, diminishes your continued love for her. Her death leaves a hole in your heart, but doesn't restrict you from living a new life without her. The loss of a spouse is highly stressful, and your grief may determine when you want to move on with your life. But continuing friendships, not being afraid to talk to others about your wife's death, realizing you still have your life to live, and accepting the fact that the love of your life has died, can help in easing the trauma of her death and allowing you to work thru your grief. So begin to socialize with whoever you want as soon as you can.
Anytime they want. There is no set amount of time a person must observe before they start talking to the opposite sex or even dating. I know a man who's wife had cancer. She would be sick then have periods of remission then get sick again. This went on for almost 14 years. Now mind you, they loved each other very much and were happily married for 35 years. She died and he started seeing a very nice woman a few months later who's husband had also died of cancer. People had a lot to say. Throwing their two cents in about him not even taking any time to grieve his late wife. His response was that he started grieving for his wife 14 years ago when they got the cancer diagnosis and that's a long time. A friend of mine who lost her husband to cancer just five months ago is dating a very nice man now. She's a good friend of mine and so was her husband. I knew them for 30 years. She grieves her husband every day and misses him. That will always be so because they were together for a long time. Letting another person into your life does not reduce the love someone has for their spouse who died. It does not make them stop grieving or missing them either. People need to stop being so judgmental in thinking that it does.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Your profile says wife was 84. So I assume you are about the same age. If so, at your age, you do what makes you happy. We never know what tomorrow will bring so do what you want today.
This is not a new topic and we have had different responses. The one that I remember is the woman whose husband was in a NH with a Dementia. She had cared for him till she couldn't anymore. The man in the home was not the man she married. He didn't recognise her or family anymore. He just sat living in the world his mind made up. He was not "there" anymore. She wanted to know if it was OK to date. She was so lonely. We told her yes.
6 months after he passed, she remarried a good friend with whom she & hubby had been close. His wife had passes about a year before.
Nobody 'talked'. It was none of our business. I am happy that she is not alone and is with someone who adores her and her kids.
Not many people are so blessed with love--twice.
You'll know when you're ready, just don't force anything.
Life is short and life is precious as you all too well know, so you have to do what is best for you. Don't worry about what other people say, as unless they have walked in your shoes, they have absolutely no right to say anything. Wishing you the very best.
I know a man who's wife had cancer. She would be sick then have periods of remission then get sick again. This went on for almost 14 years. Now mind you, they loved each other very much and were happily married for 35 years. She died and he started seeing a very nice woman a few months later who's husband had also died of cancer. People had a lot to say. Throwing their two cents in about him not even taking any time to grieve his late wife.
His response was that he started grieving for his wife 14 years ago when they got the cancer diagnosis and that's a long time. A friend of mine who lost her husband to cancer just five months ago is dating a very nice man now. She's a good friend of mine and so was her husband. I knew them for 30 years. She grieves her husband every day and misses him. That will always be so because they were together for a long time. Letting another person into your life does not reduce the love someone has for their spouse who died. It does not make them stop grieving or missing them either. People need to stop being so judgmental in thinking that it does.