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Parent is capable of dressing self, though very slow. So we don't put the Depends on him. But he refuses to change the Depends except when he is soaked in the morning. He doesn't go the the bathroom on his own and when we gently remind him to go he says he already did. Help please?
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My mom has always insisted dad use his own bathroom, not hers, which is right by the bedrooms. His is on other side of house. Then when he got diagnosed with dementia, she wondered why he wouldn't start using the closer bathroom at night. His bathrm is closer to LR and kitchen during day and he does nto get up to use any bathroom. In fact, we do remind him to check Depends and then he'll usually sit on toilet and uses it if needs to. But she insists that last change of Depends before bed be in his bedroom(?). We do put moisture barrier on bed, on chairs etc. Mom has a germ and a food phobia. She will kiss him good night when he asks her, but otherwise doesn't like to touch her own husband to check Depends, put on creams etc. or go into bathroom to check on how he is showering or to put shampoo on his hair ( he washed but not his hair). Took me and home health aide longer time to be allowed to go in to help him because of Mom's attitude.
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GOGURLZ, your Mom sound a lot like my late Mom when it came to personal care of my Dad. Both were in their 90's so Mom didn't have much energy left to try to baby Dad, it was hard enough for her to maintain herself.... so she felt it was time for Dad to do things himself. Would he? Of course not because he was so use of having my Mom cater to him. But that was her generation where "her job" was to take care of the house, children, and her husband.

I remember when Mom was trying to get Dad to even wear Depends or Depends Guards. He didn't want to, too uncomfortable. So anytime he didn't make it to the bathroom in time Mom would have to bring out the carpet cleaning supplies and hand scrub the carpet. Eventually after doing this a dozen times, the next time Dad didn't make it in time to the bathroom, Mom handed him the cleaning supplies. Before I knew it, Dad had Depends/Guards on their grocery list.
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Good point,Give aHug, about Mom not having the energy to baby Dad. Will try to remember that. She complains we kids baby him, makign it harder for her to get him to do things for self. Will try to remain calm and positive for all our sakes.
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