Any tips or advice for dealing with so many supposedly " urgent" phone calls during our work days where we really can't be on our cell phones all the time?
I posted a week ago about my dad who was trying to negotiate going home from AL. Thanks for all the responses. I have spoken with him and told him that going home is just not possible. He has to either stay at his current AL, or we can look at other ALs. That is the only deal we can make . I spoke to management at the AL and alluded that we are looking at other ALs. There is a larger apartment available at the current AL, which they have offered to my dad, so we are planning to move him to that larger room and stay in current AL. Dad seems on board, so he will stay at current AL I think... BUT
what still continues is the multiple calls during the day. I told him sternly that when I'm at work I just can answer multiple phone calls every day from him or I'll lose my job. He now promises that he wont call so often but wants to know my work cell phone number so if its "truly an emergency" I will answer his call in that situation. I said OK, but will he truly just call in real emergencies or is he going to call that number even with "perceived urgent" issues too? He is probably at mild to moderate dementia status. Any tips or advice for dealing with so many supposedly " urgent" phone calls during our work days?
Do not take more than one call a day from him or one call every other day.
In fact, you should not take any of his calls for a while. You call him.
You're not alone with having a demented elder calling every five minutes with an "emeregency" or because it's "urgent". You have to ignore it. Don't answer and don't pay any attention to these calls. It's not doing him a favor if you answer all the time and play his games. He will never accept and acclimate to living in AL if he knows that you're on call for his every demand 24/7.
Call him once a day and then that's it. Don't guilt-trip yourself or beat yourself up about not taking his calls.
People have lives. They have families to support and bills to pay and jobs they have to be on.
No one can take a phone call every five minutes from a demented LO because they think every thought they have is "urgent". Or the smallest things like there's not chocolate ice cream and that's an "emergency".
Don't answer these calls from him. You call him once a day and that is enough.
RAZ allows the caregiver control of who can call and who can be called.
RAZ allows the caregiver hours that calls are active.
RAZ allows an additional expense service to redirect 911 calls to a third party for evaluation for "true" emergencies and notifies the caregiver of emergency calls.
RAZ has GPS in the event of true emergency
plus much more.
The only reason MIL was able to have and use a phone for the entirety of her dementia was having a RAZ phone. Check out https://www.razmobility.com/ to see if this could help meet your needs with your Dad.
" level of care needs"? I ask these questions as your father, may not remember the phone calls and hence keeps calling ( if he has some dementia or other cognitive decline happening). I would be sure to have this assessed first before doing anything else, including move into larger or different apt or even facility.
That all said, if he is deemed by PCP as cognitive appropriate, then you will need to probably consider a geriatric specialist working with him or other social services counseling to get to the bottom of his behaviors that you describe. Has he always been demanding or attention seeking? Is he grieving the move into AL and hence needs grief support to help adjust? Lots of considerations here; do not fold under his behaviors as the behaviors most likely are not going to change simply by giving him a bigger apt. Is he projecting guilt onto you and family to manipulate you? PCP , and possibly a Geriatric Specialist and or Social Services Counseling can all be helpful.
He is in AL. He has access to emergency care on the premises. He needs to use that emergency system. If it isn't an emergency he doesn't need to call you until you are off from work.
Keep rules simple. Be consistent.