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How to explain hospice to family and friends when there is no terminal diagnosis, just want to eliminate hospital visits for our 90YO mother with dementia. Need some "sound bytes".

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We had hospice at home for my mother last year because she could get oxygen and a nurse coming to her home to monitor her health covered by Medicare. She was 94 and had CHF. It was very helpful. We didn’t tell mom that it was hospice. I didn’t need to explain to anyone. Family was on the same page.
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Reply to Hothouseflower
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Dementia is a terminal illness.
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Reply to Fawnby
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I can not begin to explain the benefits of Hospice.
I got Support both emotionally and with the physical aspects of the care.
I got all the supplies and equipment that I needed, and some I did not even know I needed.
My Husband got a great Nurse that came each week to check on him. The Nurse would order medical supplies and medications.
He got a CNA that came 2 or sometimes 3 times a week to give him a shower then later a bed bath. She would order personal supplies he needed.

He was on Hospice almost 3 years.
What should have been a difficult time was made so much easier.
AND...this is all covered by Medicare or Medicaid. This is a medical service that is so under used.

If anyone asks or questions it this is extra help, more eyes keeping tabs on what is going on, monitoring for any change.

Honestly you do not need to justify ANY decision you make if it is in mom's best interest.
You don't have to justify any other medical decision do you?
If someone has a "problem" with the term Hospice just call it Supportive Care. or you could call it Palliative/Hospice Care.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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I get what your trying to advoid. Actually hospice was a great way for me to tell people that my dad was dieing.

All I had to say is Dad's coming home from hospital on hospice, and they all new, he wasn't going to be around long.

I don't know if you can actually advoid that with most people, just explain it to those important to you and , it doesn't matter what anyone thinks.

What matters is , is that your mom is being well cared for. Weather it's next week or next year.

So sorry about your mom! 🙏
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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Anxietynacy Jul 16, 2024
Just to add a suspect you mean actively dieing.
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Has Hospice excepted your LO? If so, there has to be some medical condition that Hospice feels the person could die from within 6 months. COPD, CHF, Parkinson's. She can die from Dementia. When it hits the part of the brain that controls heart and lungs, you die.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Why do you need to explain this to anyone? If you’re her POA, you make best choice decisions for her and should not feel pressured to explain yourself. If it’s your siblings, then yes, explain it to them but you need not take it any further. Remember - Need to Know and Right to Know. Very few people actually fall into those categories.
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Reply to RLWG54
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My mom went on hospice at the age of 101. She had mild dementia, difficult mobility, lots of joint pain and was very frail. Going out anywhere was an ordeal for both of us even though she was in assisted living, meeting her at doctor appointments and such was very trying. And all the hospitalizations for falls, UTI, etc. I simply said that hospice was an extra layer of care for both her and me, an extra pair of eyes and attention for her. And it was. That it was meant to add to the quality of whatever was left of her life, not end it. I had a SIL that had a poor understanding of hospice and was against it but really it was not of her business. I endured her opinions but did not feel the need to defend my choice .
for my mom. My mom passed in January of this year and they were of great help and comfort to both of us.
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Reply to Siouxann
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Dementia IS a terminal diagnosis. Medicare approved hospice for my mother under the code of "Senile Degeneration of the Brain." Hospice is NEVER approved for anyone whose thought to have more than 6 months to live, whether we would like to eliminate hospital visits for them or not.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Db2024 Jul 18, 2024
Your first statement says it all and problem is families can not admit nor accept that their LO journey will end in death.. as a retire nurse 48 yrs with a loved one that is end stage dementia from a tbi due to an auto accident I see so many family members visiting them in MC that have no clue. It’s very sad to see and rather than let them enjoy time left they tend to push for everything to be done.
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"We're placing mom in Hopsice Care" to help her last months on earth more pleasant and pain free."

You don't have to explain any further. People who need to know more can be told. Others can be told, gently, "this is hard on all of us. Please respect that."
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Reply to Midkid58
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