I don't want to take away any more independence or dignity than she's already lost. She lives with me, has aides, but can go to the bathroom, shower, dress, ambulate, etc. all on her own. Lately, though, I've been seeing evidence of poo and/or toilet paper remnants with poo on her shower chair. I've mentioned it once or twice, but she has such memory loss, it doesn't stick.
She flushes, twice, and washes her hands thoroughly, so she's aware, but how do I let her keep her dignity, and get her to keep butt clean? I'm more worried about spreading germs, her getting a UTI, etc. than anything else.
THE BIG QUESTION: how to talk to her about it without embarrassing her.
I'm simply asking for people's experience in discussing this without infantilizing the person. She struggles with her dignity as it is, and just doesn't have the sight (macular degeneration) or sense of smell (long gone) or awareness.
I'm fully aware of the solutions and alternatives, I'm asking about your experience with language and dignity.
Best of luck!
https://www.metro.us/news/local-news/new-york/inside-nyc-largest-wastewater-treatment-flushable-wipes
Another option is the toilet bidet, these range from very basic to cadillac models, AgingCare advertises a couple of basic models
https://www.agingcare.com/products/sanitary-bidet-161675.htm
https://www.agingcare.com/products/hands-free-bidet-toilet-attachment-445749.htm
or you can see more high end options on the web.
Or, she may need help because range of motion changes and as we all know it's already a tough yoga stretch, add any issues and you don't get a thorough job.