About 3 days ago my Mum suddenly stopped wanting to eat. This came completely out of the blue. Day before she was happy, we went for our evening walk, I cut her hair and styled it and we were laughing listening to old songs, dancing. She was able to read and we were having normal conversations. The next day she was completely different. It’s like a black cloud was hovering over.
I can’t tell what’s going on. I’ve asked her if she’s having pain with her dentures, if her tummy hurts, if she’s having trouble with swallowing, if her stools are alright. I did noticed she did a number 2 today.
Nevertheless, everything I offer her, she only has a bite or 2 and then puts it down. She finds faults with everything! It’s either too hard, too soft, old, too cold, too hot etc. Today I asked if we’d order her favourite pizza to try entice her. She said “yes, that could be good, I’m a bit hungry”. I said “ are you sure if I order, you won’t just put it aside” and she replied with “no, I think pizza will be good”. Next thing the pizza arrives and I plate it only for her to put it aside. On prompting her she finally blurts “it’s cold”. I warm it up in the microwave,.. then she says “it’s old, I’m not eating old pizza”.
At this stage I'm fuming inside while trying to explain to her that it literally just arrived from the pizza store but nothing I say prevails. She starts to pull it apart and make a mess of it at which stage it’s definitely no longer appealing to then turn around and say “look at it, it’s terrible”. She does know how to eat considering she has a bite or two before rejecting.
I'm lost for words,... what is going on?!?
She pulls the same face that you would if you were utterly full or having something gross put in front of your face so I’m wondering if there’s some kind of gag reflect going on.
No no matter how much I ask, she doesn’t tell me anything that would give me an idea. She just mutters that nothing is wrong.
Her behaviour in general has been off the last last couple days. Today when I went to put the seatbelt around her in the car and leant over, she went to bite my arm while making a growling noise. It wasn’t hard, more like a play bite but still odd. When I asked her why she would do that, it seems to have been protective motivated. She said “well you were pushing me!”. I replied saying “no, I was not pushing you, I leant across". But yes odd. She also spat the mouthful of pizza at me while at the same time she loves complaining of any ants near where she sits. There are a few ants and that’s coz she keep dropping crumbs.
Is it possible for dementia to suddenly change / advance like this OR is something else possibly going on I should be investigating? I’ll try take her to doctor but so far she’s not interested.
I’ll try make some protein smoothie tomorrow but just looking for ideas.
she often had a re-occurring UTI.
I have a client that will ALWAYS say No if I offer something to eat. But if I bring a plate of grapes and cheese, or a bowl of soup he makes it disappear every time!
Difficulty swallowing is pretty common with elderly and dementia patients. Very small mouthfuls will help.
And definitely keep checking for UTI's and possible stroke.
Best if luck to you.
Try lots of foods. One bite each will make a meal. Try different textures, temperatures and flavors. Count the calories and go for high nutrients and calories. See if she will take sips of ensure. Milkshakes, juices instead of water. If she drinks coffee, add heavy whipping cream instead of milk, etc.
Most people who aren’t eating enough lash out and become combative. (Even teens).
Although she is being difficult, it sounds like she is also still trying to please you, so praise may be effective.
Distract her doing mealtime so she gets a bite without noticing. Ask advice. Mom, I tried a new recipe - which cookie do you like best? Is this soup missing anything? Watch TV, turn on those old songs, whatever it takes to distract. Watch cooking shows to spark an appetite. If she can cook, get her engaged in doing so. Even if she has a minor role. Make a list of all her favorite foods and keep trying.
I went through this with mom and I got her eating again. I did so many different things I’m not really sure what worked best. It was terribly frustrating, but she regained interest and returned to normal.
Thinking of you.