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It is mostly in the morning that she has issues. Possibly a wet diaper? Perhaps she is stiff from laying in one position. Do you have one of those bed pads that pump air so she doesn't get bed sores? My aunt has one. The lady in the other room does too. Ask Hospice. They can prescribe one and get her one if she doesn't already. Hospital bed I am sure is in place so you can reposition the bed up/down, legs up/down, etc...
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sorryselma Apr 2019
Hi MAYDAY,

Thanks for all your wonderful posts. That a great idea about the hospital bed. She is not incontinent so not really a bathroom problem. I'll ask Hospice about the bed pads for bed sores too. You are the best!!!
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Introduce new people to her as new friends, Hi Mom, Jane is visiting with me today.

Keep it simple.
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Don't forget to ask hospice about Ativan. That may help her calm down.

Don't buy her cigarettes anymore. My aunt burnt down her daughter's house on accident. Oxygen and cigs don't go well together, especially when that person falls asleep. MY poor aunt lost all her beanie babies :(

Thank goodness no life was lost.

Try the Sony noise cancelling head phones. I think those are top of the line, but they work very well.

Play her favorite music and put some of her favorite movies on.
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gdaughter Apr 2019
check out reviews before investing in the headphones...Bose is a big brand but there may be others...maybe look at Amazon...or the cheaper alternative...industrial earplugs:-) I wonder how the neighbors are coping with the noise?
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I think the advise re seeking out French speaking organisations and assistance is a great idea. They may even have a service for such needs as your own. My friends mother went to a predominantly Russian nursing home because she reverted to her native language

i have found that airplane silicone earplugs are great at noise canceling and cheap. Ask chemist.

You need respite. Take the fags away and put her on a patch
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LoopyLoo Apr 2019
Crazy how some can switch back to
their native or second language! My aunt had dementia and English was first language, but also grew up speaking Polish. Could still converse in it until her dying day. Same deal with my husband’s grandmother, only for her it was Swedish.
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I don’t understand the visa/employment situation between the USA and Canada, but with College holidays coming up in a few weeks, I wonder if you could find a Canadian French speaker who might be interested in a summer job? If you can give a fair bit of time off, it might interest someone who would find it useful on their CV. I am sure that you could find out how to advertise at a College in Quebec, if you ask around. A contact with a staff member in an appropriate faculty might be a good start to find someone suitable. Good luck in such a difficult situation.
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sorryselma Apr 2019
Thanks MMK,

I did at one point consider having a French caregiver (coming for a few months from France) but that's a great idea - Canada is a lot closer!!!! The logistics seemed tough for the French caregiver. Thanks for your support, I am so grateful to this Forum!
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Selma, I find myself getting angry for you for this situation, which now includes long periods of screaming. OMG!

As if it weren't enough that your home reeks of cigarette smoke because of your poor MIL's smoking, but to read that her habit also prevented her being able to be placed into respite, for YOU to have a break, is extremely frustrating!

And do any aides or caregivers or volunteers have to speak French? Of course, it would be ideal, it would be very nice, but is it really absolutely mandatory?

To be blunt, if God forbid you were to suddenly drop dead or have a serious health collapse (stroke, heart attack, etc.) from the continual stress of this situation, I think your husband would find himself using non-French speaking caregivers and your MIL wearing a nicotine patch so she could go to respite care.
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sorryselma Apr 2019
Hey SnoopyLove,

Thanks for validating things that are on my mind, but that are often hard to verbalize. In the midst of her screaming pain, I ask myself how I got into this situation. Though I feel horribly sorry for MIL, each scream reminds me what a big burden she has become and how unequipped I am to handle caregiving for her.

Hospice has sent over the most lovely people but it requires a lot of extra effort on my part - my explaining a gazillion times to MIL who is coming over and what they do and then serving as French interpreter. She just doesn't process. Because she can still do showers, toileting, and get up by herself, Hospice will not provide outside caregivers. We could pay for one out-of-pocket but they would mostly be to keep her company, make meals, and do medication reminders. Yes, you're right, we could do non-French speaking caregivers and we may have to pursue that path when I can't handle things like lifting, etc.

And yes, I was really bummed about the smoking - but I also understand why these memory care facilities cannot accommodate smoking. We have one other place that might work, but I don't think hubby wants to ship MIL off when she is in so much pain. He is much more open to respite care than in the past but seems to want to wait. I bet a respite facility would know better what to do with pain issues and are better equipped to provide her relief than we are.

Today the Hospice nurse says it's only going to get worse. These four years have taken a huge toll on me, I hope that I can pull together the strength to make it through this period. I plan to continue to take time for myself, but the benefits of taking even a short break seem to have diminished over time.

Thank you for your compassion and kind words - it means so much to me!
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Selma, I am finding your comments about drugs a bit hard to understand. Mistakes can be serious, and I have been forced to do a lot of checking for myself and my LOs, so I will explain.

Morphine is the strongest of all the opioids. Tramadol is nothing like as strong - I take 100mg Tramal each morning as a prophylactic, and there is no way I am up to requiring morphine. My BIL recently died with acute cancer pain, and he wasn’t getting his morphine every hour. In fact I think the only way to give a more frequent dose of morphine is with a shunt running into a vein, like my mother had at the end. Most of the less strong opioids (eg codeine) are combined either with paracetamol (tylenol) or ibuprofen (nurofen), and an hourly dose would be lethal in less than 24 hours because of the additive rather than the opioid. The maximum safe dose of paracetamol is 4g a day, ie 8 tablets with the usual 500mg dose. I have to monitor my paracetamol intake carefully when I have a bad bout of scoliosis pain. It is important to look at the contents of the drugs, and the amount in mgs, not just the brand name on the packet.

Perhaps you don’t understand the drugs, or aren’t explaining well. It seems very unlikely that a hospice team would get it so wrong, but it would be good to check. See a doctor if you and hospice are still confused. It is important to give your mother what she needs without risking a dangerous overdose.
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sorryselma Apr 2019
Your experience is super helpful, MargaretMcKen. Thanks so much for your insights. I will triple check on the dosage. We have been giving MIL a very small dose of Morphine orally in the am when she awakes - it's 5 mg (or .25 ml). Hospice nurse was just over at the house, and she says it is totally safe to give her this dose hourly if the pain warrants it. It's highly unlikely that we will ply her with too much Morphine; our Hospice nurse and the doc on the case really seem to know what they are doing. Pain is so tough to treat as you know, so we have to figure out the combination of things that work best. I really appreciate your comments that we need to be vigilant about proper doses.
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Nurse probably does not want to hear her scream
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Two sites that can likely help:

Alliance Francaise's site at afusa.org-- I assume you are in the US, but if not, Alliance Francaise is worldwide. They could maybe find someone near you to help.

Also check the Lycee Francaise school network at www.aefa-afsa.org for more resources.

Do you have any sort of college or university that is not too far away? Most schools have a foreign language department and thus teachers of French-- and usually there is at least one native French person on staff. Even if they have no one to help, they might be able to give you resources. A French student who is far along in their studies may be interested in earning some side income for translation. Even some high school foreign language departments could maybe help!

As for the shrieking-- mon Dieu!-- my nerves would be shot within hours! Maybe a doctor can prescribe something mild to calm her?
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Sorry, I guess screaming in pain plus hospice made me see cancer where there is none, nonetheless she is on hospice so she is considered end of life.
I'm glad you got the instructions for pain control clarified and hospice is working with you, hopefully once the pain is under control things will be better for all of you. And do consider trying the ativan if things are getting out of control, you can always discontinue it if the side effects are too noticeable.
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Can you asks hospice to utilize volunteers to help? They have volunteers that step in to help.
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sorryselma Apr 2019
Hi NeedHelpWithMom,

We have had a big language hurdle- she does not speak English, only French, so it has been hard to bring on other caregivers or volunteers to help. We live in a small town so it's hard to find other French speakers who can communicate with her.
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Noise canceling ear protection, the highest quality you can buy. Peaceful music playing through them whenever you need a break.

Question her doctor concerning pain control. If hers isn’t effective, perhaps try something different?

Fall risk is always a concern, but as compared to the pain of terminal cancer, all you can do is rely on your medical experts.
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2019
I like that answer, Ann. Very practical. Maybe a baby monitor and escape to the outdoors in nature for a little bit. It’s just a really tough situation.

Plus like cwille said, no one should endure that kind of pain while on hospice.
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Do you have haldol and ativan available? She is suffering from end stage cancer and on hospice, the idea of an increased risk of falls taking precedence over symptom relief of real present problems is ludicrous.


To add, allowing anyone to suffer physical pain at end of life is neither necessary or acceptable, your hospice providers are clearly not doing their jobs.
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2019
cwille,

I agree. Not only is it horrible for the patient not to have relief from pain but also for the family to witness her in pain. Not good all around.
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Oh my gosh! You have an extremely difficult situation. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine. I can understand that you are at your wits end. I would understand if you completely lost it. Everyone has a breaking point.

You mentioned respite not taking her due to smoking. Is she willing to do a patch? My brother did the patch.

What about caregivers at your home through hospice? Any help there? How often is hospice there? I hope you get relief soon. Hugs!!!
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