My father is 85 and has dementia. My mother died unexpectedly. Their home is isolated and unsafe, and he's wrecked the car. Now he's in a wonderful memory care facility being cared for amazingly patient and kind people. But he is miserable. He spends his time shut in his room with the blinds closed and has as little to do with others as possible. When I visit him, after the initial warm few minutes, he starts to get nasty and turns every -- and I mean every -- conversation to going back home, getting the car keys back and driving. And he remembers that this has come up during previous visits. He must not go home! Heck, he's not even clear that I am not my mother and he continually confuses my mother and his mother. Or that he no longer lives in his childhood city. I've tried redirection which works only for a sentence or two. The staff recommends that I not bluntly tell him he's not going home.
I'm at a loss. Any words of wisdom?
Tell him the car is still being repaired and he cannot live without a car.
Tell him there are repairs on the road to the house and he cannot get through.
Tell him will have to ask the doctor about that.
Tell him that unless he starts leaving his room, they cannot access if he can manage on his own.
Ask him about his memories of the house he grew up in.
Open his blinds and talk about the weather or what ever you can see, hopefully his window does not look over the parking lot.