We recently moved my father in to a nursing home after many difficult years of him living at home with my mom and my older brother. Dad has dementia and other issues as well.
I am wondering what is the best way to begin to get him acclimated to his new home? My sisters want to go there every day and that is really hard on them. My mom is not visiting frequently. She wants dad to begin developing some routines there. Dad has never been a social person. I live 3000 miles away.
Is there a best way or any suggestions on this matter?
I kept it up for years since I had several loved ones in the same nursing home. Yes, I spoiled them, for good or bad.
There are some people that do adjust better when the family visits less. I just don't think a blanket policy is a good idea. However it's done, family members should go often enough to get to know the staff and be a visible part of the routine. Also, as was mentioned, short meaningful visits may be better than long drawn out ones.
People with Alzheimer's may not remember you were there the day before, but they do remember faces and repetition helps. My mother-in-law couldn't have told anyone I was coming or who I was, but she'd sit by the elevator and by her face the staff knew she understood I was there for her. So, again, this is an individual matter. Don't expect that your family will get it down perfectly because there's no such thing. Communicate and each person can do what seems best. Good luck. We're with you.
Carol
The whole issue is beginning to create dissention in the family. My two sisters have the feeling that they need to be there every day. I don't know if dad thinks he can play on their feelings in hopes of coming back home. With his many problems (falling, incontinence, etc) he cannot be cared for at home any longer. The last two years nearly killed my mom.
I am hopeful that my mom will slowly begin making more trips there. I am also hopeful that my tow sisters will back off a little. I think that may allow my dad to begin getting more acclimated there. Their efforts have definitely resulted in improvements in how he is cared for, but he needs to be given some chance to develop some relationships there at the home.
Thank you all again.
See All Answers