I was informed this week that he has a heart blockage and next week he has an appointment with the cardiologist. If the heart stops, what will be the consequence to a brain already affected by ALZ. The NH just asked me the question if I want them to resuscitate or not. He already has his wishes for not to be kept alive artificially. Resuscitate if the heart stops? Do not resuscitate? Please help me understand the difference between his wishes or an unexpected heart stoppage. He never had heart problems before.
Just because it MIGHT help to clarify, there are some distinctions to know about. Hearts have mostly muscle that functions as an incredibly powerful, reliable pump supplying the whole body with blood (problem with this is what is meant by the term "heart failure" aka congestive heart failure, CHF, or pump failure, and if a person has cardiomyopathy, maybe compensated but not "in failure"); they have their own blood supply (coronary arteries, which can be blocked, commonly with atherosclerosis or in spasm) and an electrical system (sinus node through AV node through some right and left branch bundles to the ventricles). Sometimes just one of those things is messed up, though each can tend to mess up the others, e.g. a heart attack or myocardial infarction usually does not take out so much heart muscle that it fails as a pump, but an arrhythmia can be caused that goes into "v tach" or "v fib" and causes sudden death. An implanted defibrillator essentially resuscitates someone automatically if they arrest when that happens. A pacemaker does not give you palpable shocks per se, it just mantains a heart rate and rhythm if the heart's own electrical system is out of whack - pretty common in older folks, you may hear it called "sick sinus syndrome" or "heart block" and the heart muscle and coronary arteries may be just fine, but the heart beat is too slow or irregular. Having a pacemaker may improve quality and length of life substantially, but won't keep you alive if something other than heart rhythm goes badly awry, e.g. a heart attack (coronary artery occlusion) or heart muscle weakness (heart failure), or something non-cardiac such as sepsis, which is what my dad died from, with his pacemaker in place and working fine.
So, clarify with the cardiologist what is meant by "heart blockage" and go on from there. It is not always easy to decide what treatments will be good for a person in terms of living and feeling better, versus what is just a burden and not worth it. There are times when resuscitation works and gives people some frosting on their cake so to speak - or even a much bigger piece of cake! - but in severe and advanced dementia, that's probably not the case. And just because you say DNR does not mean you can't have other medical interventions that you think would be good, like oral or IV antibiotics, or medicine, or breathing help at night with whatever might be tolerated. And just because any medical procedure could be done and might extend life a little, it does not have to be done if the person is going to hate and fight it too much, or you have every reason to believe longer life is no longer a blessing for the person living it. It can be OK to let go. I say that with a little hesitation, because we know there are times that longer life for the person would be a gift but perhaps a very expensive gift, and the system may be starting to lean even more towards withholding care that might be very appropriate and desirable, just because of a person's age or disability.
So the caveat I have today is to be well informed...I was sure flustered when my cousins and BIL discussed deciding for my MIL that she should not have a feeding tube "because then she could not talk and would be tied down in bed" - actually it was the right decision, but wrong reason in the that case. And you would not want someone to say "no ventilator or artificial feeding" thinking they are just not wanting to be in an immobile or vegetative state, because if they were otherwise enjoying a good life but due to a more unusual medical condition simply became unable to swallow or take deep enough breaths all day and all night, whether temporarily or permanently, then they would lose out.
This is one of those things where you have to get your head and heart together and make the best, most loving decisions that you can, and the more you also know about what your loved one wants and doesn't want in advance, the better.
However, we do honor family wishes and resuscitate their elderly loved one but the person they get back is not the person they had before. Personally, I don't think it's right. I think it's inhumane. And it usually has to do with the family not being able to let go as opposed to what's best for their elderly loved one.
At a certain age and in certain circumstances some families have to make the decision that enough is enough. For every blip there is a procedure or a medication or a treatment. It was that way with my dad. We decided to quit dragging him all over God's green acres for procedures that weren't helping. They didn't make him worse but they weren't beneficial either. Without them he would go down hill, we knew this, but we made the decision to let nature take it's course. Once this decision was made I called his Dr. and his Dr. told me that we had made the right decision.
Someone with advanced Alzheimer's needs to be left in peace.
I would ask myself the question, what would he want. At one point soon after I started taking care of my mom we were still able to talk about the disease of Alzheimer's in a way that she understood what was happening to her brain, that it would get worse. One night she said to me that she does not want to live that way and then actually asked me to help her leave this world. That was an extremely difficult conversation but at least it has happened only once.
Nerie, these are the most difficult decisions and you will make the right one for your husband and yourself. Thinking of you.
I made this decision for my father. I knew his life had become a burden for him and that he no longer wanted to live. I knew I was speaking for him when I told the hospital not to resuscitate if his heart stopped. He had suffered enough.